Kiss Kiss
by Cairnsy
Summary: Alfeegi’s heart is broken when Ruwalk falls in love with someone who happens to NOT be Alfeegi, and Kai-stern tries to make things better while dealing with his own issues at the same time. Alfeegi x Kai-stern, Ruwalk x Alfeegi.
1. Kiss: If Only I Could Make You Mine

**Kiss Kiss.**

Alfeegi's heart is broken when Ruwalk falls in love with someone who happens to NOT be Alfeegi, and Kai-stern tries to make things better while dealing with his own issues at the same time. Alfeegi x Kai-stern, Ruwalk x Alfeegi.

Author's notes: Wow. This kind of came out of nowhere. Originally, I signed up to the Alfeegi x Kai-stern version of the '30 Kisses' challenge because I thought it would be kind of fun to play around with occasionally. I'd already signed up with Misura to tackle the Tetheus x Kai-stern version with her, and saw this as basically a fallback fic to work on when I was bored/didn't want to concentrate all that hard. What ended up happening was that I wrote about 25,000 words in five days.

As I'm sure you can all imagine, this fic is 25,000 words of utter crap – but in a way, that was the point. This is not supposed to be a work of art or anything close to one, it's instead just a lot of campy, cliché fun where I get to explore lots of little aspects of Kai-stern and Alfeegi's characters without having to be all that serious about it. Originally, these were only supposed to be short, somewhat interconnecting ficlets, but that kind of changed half way through. As a result, the chapters in the second half of the story are almost twice as long as those in the first half, something that I personally hate as I like my chapters to be roughly the same length.

Anyway, the Live Journal '30 kisses' challenge goes like this: 30 different themes are provided, and a story must be written for each of the themes. All of the stories must feature one particular pairing, and each individual story must feature a kiss, although the kiss does not have to be between the pairing chosen. The stories don't have to be interconnected, but I thought it would be fun if they were. Also, three of the 30 themes are not present in this story, as they are ones that would require a modern day setting. Those three themes will get a completely separate story.

Sorry about the overly long author notes of doom, I don't think I've ever written an introductory note even half this length before. Gah. I'll be posting each chapter every couple of days as while the whole story has been written, the individual chapters still need some editing. All reviews and thoughts are very muchwelcomed!

* * *

**Kiss: If Only I Could Make You Mine.**

Alfeegi had been smiling all day. He'd smiled at the doorman, who had acted as though he was not used to such a simple gesture, and he'd smiled at the bratty children who always chose to play loudly outside his office window. A special smile for Tetheus, who looked rather disturbed as a result of it, and another one for Rath, who blinked once, then twice, before he walked away very quickly in the opposite direction.

Smiling at Kai-stern had perhaps been a bad idea, as the other man had muttered a quick 'bloody hell' under his breath before declaring that he was going to take Alfeegi out and get him completely and utterly drunk.

Alfeegi quite liked the bartender, he happened to smile back. Kai-stern didn't seem to approve of the man behind the bar all that much, as he rewarded the bartender with a glare before placing a strong tasting brew before Alfeegi and demanding that he drink it up.

Kai-stern went from frowning at the bar man to looking down right concerned when Alfeegi downed the glass in only a couple of gulps. Alfeegi watched with a sense of distracted interest as Kai-stern closed his eyes briefly before taking a large gulp of his own drink.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kai-stern asked cautiously, almost as though he was worried that Alfeegi would do something horrible if the tone he was addressed in wasn't completely and utterly to Alfeegi's liking. What exactly Kai-stern thought he would do, especially considering that they were in a tacky, horrible bar that was far from Alfeegi's own comfort zone and much more Kai-stern's kind of territory, Alfeegi wasn't sure. Perhaps Kai-stern thought he'd smile at him again.

"No." He needed another drink. Strange, how whatever Kai-stern had forced down him (naturally it had been forced, as Alfeegi would never touch alcohol on his own accord) made him lose the ability to not only smile, but was making him feel slightly … fluffy. Yes, that was the word, although now that he thought more about it, he wasn't entirely sure it was even a word to start off with.

The second drink lasted about as long as the first. Damn Kai-stern and his peer pressuring ways. It wasn't nice to make people drink, especially ones who quite enjoyed living solely in the world of sobriety. Not that Alfeegi wasn't discovering that this alcohol induced world wasn't quite enjoyable as well, he found that he kept getting distracted by things he would normally ignore, such as how the music seemed to soak into his skin and hum through his veins, or how everyone took on a slightly more attractive look when seen through somewhat hazed eyes.

And, whoa. Standing up was not such a good idea. But Kai-stern steadied him, before leading him out onto the dance floor, muttering something about low alcohol tolerance and how at least Alfeegi wasn't one of _those_ drunks. Which, to be brutally honest, Alfeegi thought was all sorts of unfair, considering that he was hardly drunk. Who got drunk after a couple of drinks?

He was merely a little tipsy, and he was merely a little distracted.

Both which were good, very good. And, quite possibly, what Kai-stern had intended all along.

Kai-stern turned out to be a very good dancer, which Alfeegi also approved of. At some stage, Kai-stern also managed to finish his own drink, before ordering them both another, and then another.

And possibly another. Alfeegi sort of lost count after that.

He was starting to see why Kai-stern liked this scene as much as he did, when something completely horrible and unexpected happened. It was a silly little horrible and unexpected thing, and totally Kai-stern's fault. Naturally. They'd spent half the night drinking and dancing and laughing and drinking and dancing and occasionally slipping! Whoops! But then, Kai-stern. Of course.

"I'm sure it won't last, Alfeegi. It never does."

And what part of 'no' had Kai-stern not quite properly comprehended back when Alfeegi had very firmly used the word in response to the whole 'would you like to talk about it?' conversation? Kai-stern hadn't been drinking then, so surely he didn't have the same excuse Alfeegi had earlier when he'd misheard something someone had said and had ended up with a strange looking pouch of powder that Kai-stern had immediately confiscated and hidden far away.

"It has nothing to do with me." He prided himself on how his voice didn't waiver at all. "If Ruwalk chooses to get serious about someone who isn't me – and I'm pretty sure it isn't me, as I'm neither blond nor an elf – and wants to be all lovey and dovey with that someone who _isn't me, _then that's his choice." Rotten, bad, evil choice, but Ruwalk's all the same. "And if he decides that he is so in love with little-miss-not-me that he has to parade her around in front of everyone and pronounce his undying devotion to her, then good for him." The two timing, no! Triple timing bastard.

Not that they'd ever been seeing each other in the first place. In fact, Ruwalk didn't even seem to realize that Alfeegi was kind of, slightly, completely and utterly in love with him.

"Um. Yeah."

Although apparently everyone else did.

"It has everything to do with me, doesn't it?" He bemoaned, dropping his head briefly onto the bar before lifting it back up again and turning beseeching eyes on Kai-stern. "She's prettier and has curly hair – do you think he'd love me more if I curled my hair? Or maybe I'm just not clever enough, she looks clever doesn't she? No wonder he chose her, who would want me in the first place? Nerdy little Alfeegi who isn't at all attractive and is intelligent but only in all the wrong kinds of ways – ompf!" He was cut off as Kai-stern suddenly leaned in and pressed his lips to Alfeegi's own. Soft and brief, the kiss was gentle and unassuming, and Alfeegi was a little dazed when Kai-stern pulled away. Quiet seriousness was reflected in Kai-stern's eyes as he glazed slightly up at Alfeegi, not a hint of humor clouding them.

"Ruwalk is the one who isn't good enough for you, Alfeegi. He's a fool for not even realizing how lucky he was to have you in the first place." Kai-stern did smile then, a pretty, friendly smile that Alfeegi found himself hating. "We should head back. It's almost dawn, and you're going to have one hell of a hangover come morning." Kai-stern helped him to his feet, and they stumbled – well, Alfeegi stumbled – out of the bar and back up to Draqueen.

And Kai-stern had kissed him. It had been almost … nice.

But it hadn't been Ruwalk, and somehow that only made it hurt that much more.

Alfeegi certainly wasn't smiling the next morning, the promised hangover coming out in full force. Strangely enough, everyone seemed to be relieved when he chose to grumble, growl or frown at them instead of smile. He did flush slightly when he saw Kai-stern, the memories of spilling secrets and bad, drunken dancing coming very much to the fore, not to mention his head happened to pound even more just being in the other's presence. But Kai-stern just smiled and waved, before going off to do whatever his newest assignment was.

Alfeegi couldn't help wonder why no-one became concerned about Kai-stern's smiles, since he was discovering that they rang as true as his own had the day before.


	2. Kiss: Good Night

**Author's notes: **Thank you for the reviews for the first chapter, I have see my name mentioned once, Aquajogger, and was very flattered. And there are not enough Kai-stern adorers, Animegoil, so I hope you take whatever inspiration that last sentence possibly gave you and run with it! Big thanks also to RP – lots more to come in the next few days! The story is going to be 12 chapters, unless I decide to add a couple more in various places where I find the story comes across as slightly too rushed. This particular chapter I had a lot of fun with, and in a way it is in part what this entire story is about – exploring aspects of the two characters that don't often get looked at. As always, all comments are very much welcomed.

This chapter takes place a couple of weeks after the previous chapter.

* * *

**Kiss: Good Night.**

Kai-stern had never liked working by candlelight. His vision had been poor since birth, robbed almost completely away from him by the same childhood illness that had stripped all colour from his skin and hair and marked him out from an early age as someone different and unusual. Few survived the initial stages of the disease, and sometimes it was considered more of a curse to live beyond those first few, painful months. Humans so unnaturally fair were either ostracized or considered unique, and neither option was all that welcoming. Either you were a pariah, or you were a pet.

Kai-stern had been both, back before he'd come to Draqueen. The immortality that had been gifted to him had cleared up most of the health problems that the disease had inflicted on him, but his eyesight had been too far tattered to return fully. The flickering, inconsistent flames from the candles placed strain on his eyes, making long periods spent hunched over paperwork first uncomfortable, and then painful. Words blurred and headaches set in, and the world took on a hazed look that Kai-stern couldn't quite see through.

It was just one more weakness to add to a list that was already overly long.

His desk in his office was shoved right underneath a large window, and during the day it was fine. Not perfect, but enough constant, base light flowed into the room to make it certainly livable. But day had leaked into early evening, and by the time he was almost through with his reports the candles that were scattered around the room had almost completely burnt down.

'Damn Alfeegi and his stupid reports,' Kai-stern thought tiredly as he removed his glasses, rubbing his strained eyes. His headache wasn't all that bad, but even with his glasses on everything was at best a blur. If only Alfeegi didn't expect the smallest of details to be recorded in the most complicated fashion, Kai-stern could have finished the report hours ago. As it was he was still going to have to spend at least an hour on it in the morning.

Normally Alfeegi wasn't quite this bad, Kai-stern allowed. But whenever Ruwalk went through one of his stages where he was madly in love and so completely and utterly the happiest he had ever, ever been, Alfeegi always seemed to fall apart just slightly at the seams. It didn't seem to occur to Alfeegi that Ruwalk fell into mad, obsessive love at least three times a year, although perhaps that was really part of the problem. Of all the times Ruwalk had fallen in love, it had never once been with Alfeegi.

And Alfeegi loved Ruwalk more than anything, even though Ruwalk had no idea about the other's devotion.

Sometimes, Kai-stern felt just a little bit bitter about it all. Because, if Alfeegi was just to look, then perhaps he would see that there was a world beyond Ruwalk, and that there were other people who would be more than willing to become involved with him in some manner.

Alfeegi was kind and smart, and often rather amusing – as well as having a tendency to be kind of cute when he was at his most annoyed. Only a fool wouldn't be interested in Alfeegi.

And Ruwalk was the worst kind of fool.

There was no way Kai-stern was going to be able to make it back to his room tonight, not without running the risk of someone seeing him in his less than stellar condition. Besides, it wasn't as though his desk was all that uncomfortable to rest his head on for a few hours, or at least it wouldn't be if he used his jacket as a pillow …

"What are you doing sleeping in your office! It's almost three in the morning!"

Well. The hour and a half in which he had managed to snatch some sleep had been nice, and at least Kai-stern could decipher the form glaring down at him instead of simply seeing an Alfeegi-shaped blur.

"You answered your own question, Alfeegi. I was sleeping," he grumbled as he slid his glasses on, noting with a vague sense of detachment the way Alfeegi became more solid, even as the room itself remained only partially in focus. "What are _you_ doing up? It's almost three in the morning." Alfeegi's eyes narrowed at the slightly mocking tone.

"I have been working," there was just a hint of self-entitlement in Alfeegi's tone. "I was just dropping off these reports before I headed to bed, but since you are still up you can sign your ones off now." Alfeegi waved the papers in front of him. Kai-stern looked at them wearily, before taking them from Alfeegi.

"I'll have them back to you in the morning."

"It will only take you a couple of minutes to look them over and sign, I can wait."

With a slight grimace, Kai-stern glanced down at the papers. For a moment, the words seemed to hold their form, but he had only managed a couple of lines before they turned more into unreadable scribbles and his headache threatened to return.

Damn Alfeegi.

Kai-stern knew he could have just signed the papers, but while occasionally others (Alfeegi) would berate him for his unprofessional nature (Alfeegi) and far too laid back attitude (Alfeegi), he did in fact take his work seriously.

"I'll have it back to you in the morning, Alfeegi."

"Oh, I'm sure." The words were almost biting. "Maybe you'll have them back to me in the morning, or maybe you'll have it back to me in the afternoon. You might – if I'm lucky – return them to me _tomorrow_ morning or afternoon, but there's more of a chance that I'll have to wait several days. Believe it or not, Kai-stern, I happen to work as well, and every time I have to wait on just a single piece of paperwork it throws the entire process out and puts me days behind schedule." Kai-stern couldn't deal with this, not at the moment. But Alfeegi was obviously annoyed, and while Kai-stern doubted that he was the sole source of Alfeegi's annoyance, he certainly made an ideal target. "You don't seem to care that by slacking off as much as you do, it puts a huge amount of-"

"I can't read the report, Alfeegi." Kai-stern interrupted Alfeegi mid-flight. With a soft sigh, he removed his glasses, brushing his fingers across his tired eyelids. "I would love to read through these and sign them off for you right now, but it's not that I won't, it's that I can't." Almost two hundred years in this job, and only Lykouleon had ever known the true extent of the damage to his eyes.

Alfeegi watched him with eyes full of both suspicion and confusion, before he gasped just slightly. Kai-stern wasn't sure what it was that Alfeegi saw, maybe Kai-stern's eyes were duller than normal, or pain had tightened his features a tad more than Alfeegi was used to seeing, but it became starkly obvious when Alfeegi caught on.

"You can't see."

"I can see," Kai-stern protested back immediately, a little alarmed by how severe Alfeegi's statement had sounded. "Just, not all that well at the moment. It happens sometimes when I'm tired." Alfeegi chose to ignore him, as a hint of hysteria crept into his voice.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two." Kai-stern couldn't help but roll his eyes, feeling like a child – no doubt because he was being treated like one.

"And now?"

"Four." Perhaps if Alfeegi had chosen not to wave his hand directly in front of Kai-stern's face, this task would be a little bit more difficult.

"And _now_?

"Two again."

"One out of three is not satisfactory, Kai-stern." What, one out of three? It took him a moment to realize that Alfeegi was still talking, his voice professionally cutting. "If this is what your eyesight is always like, then it's a disability that is far too hazardous considering the extent of your missions."

"I do not have a disability," Kai-stern growled, his own annoyance firmly setting in. "And having to wear glasses has never had any negative impact on any of my missions. It is only when I stress my eyes too much that there are any problems, and that is only whenever I have to work in this damn candlelight!" It was almost shocking to find he'd raised his voice at some time during their argument, especially considering it was something he so very rarely did. It was most likely a combination of the return of his headache coupled with the pain behind his eyes, mixed in with just a dash of bone-weary tiredness. Instead of looking even more annoyed, however, Alfeegi looked almost … pleased.

"Ah, so that is the problem. You should have said something then years ago, instead of having to wait for someone to provoke you into admitting it." Had Alfeegi of all people just played him? Alfeegi? "Surely you do not think anyone would have thought less of you if you had said that your eyesight could not handle the poor lighting of your office, did you?"

Kai-stern had no idea how to respond. He didn't know how to find the words to explain how even now it felt as though he could never properly measure up to the perfect Dragon Clan, who rarely had physical imperfections and seemed to know everything they needed with an instinctive nature that was beyond him. He'd only been 21 in human years when he had first taken up the position, an age where he'd have still been considered a mere child if he'd been a member of the Dragon Clan. Hell, Alfeegi had been considered too young when he'd gotten his position at 90 years of age, that Kai-stern had also been human – and one who had looked so strange at that – had caused a whole lot of resentment amongst those who had desired Kai-stern's job. It had taken years to prove himself of even being worthy of consideration, and it still felt as though one misstep, one opportunity to prove those disbelievers right, could destroy everything he had worked so hard for.

And he couldn't find the words, but somehow Alfeegi seemed to understand all the same.

"You are as bad as Tetheus, Kai-stern." Kai-stern had a feeling that this was the only time he'd ever been compared with the demon. "You judge yourself more harshly than anyone else does. I understand that there were … teething problems … originally, but only a fool would doubt your value, and only an idiot would ever pay attention to a fool."

For a moment, all Kai-stern could do was gaze up at Alfeegi, who held his gaze.

"Now, go to bed. You can read over the reports in the morning, and I'll sort out an office for you on the other side of the castle, there's much more sunlight there. I'll also order you in some special lamps that have this fantastic ability to equalize the light they emit almost perfectly." Alfeegi finished, heading for the door.

"Wait, Alfeegi." The other man turned around, glancing back at Kai-stern with a slightly raised eyebrow. "If you read the report to me, I should be able to sign it now. Like you said, it'll only take a couple of minutes." His smile was slightly lopsided. "But if it's too much of a …" he drifted off as Alfeegi walked back and pulled up a chair without hesitation, before picking up the report. Alfeegi had been right, and it wasn't long before they were walking back together towards the wing their apartments we located. They reached Kai-stern's room first, and they hovered outside his door for an uncomfortable moment before Kai-stern spoke up.

"I … Alfeegi. Thank you." He removed his glasses and ran the back of his palm harshly across his eyes. "My sight is something of a human flaw, I'm afraid."

"And yet, those human eyes you find to be so flawed still manage to see more clearly than those of any member of the Dragon Clan that I've ever known." The words seemed far too poetic coming from Alfeegi, who was always blunt and to the point, but Kai-stern found them to still be sincere all the same. Alfeegi brushed the tips of his fingers gently across Kai-stern's lashes, smiling just slightly. Butterfly kisses, his mother had always called them, although he doubted Alfeegi had meant to mimic an obviously human custom. "You might see your sight as your greatest weakness, but it is greater than any strength I personally possess."

It was a good thing when Alfeegi turned away just slightly, as Kai-stern didn't know if he would have been able to.

"Goodnight, Kai-stern."

"Night, Alfeegi."

It was not until after Alfeegi had rounded the far corner that Kai-stern finally slipped into his room.

* * *

**Extra notes**: I have this strange obsession with glasses, and explaining why characters wear them. In some fandoms explanations aren't all the necessary, but others do beg the question – especially fandoms that take place in magical worlds. That Kai-stern has to wear glasses when elves seem to have this magical ability to pretty much cure everything, is sort of strange. Perhaps the original injury/deficiency that Kai-stern suffered was so bad that poor eyesight was simply a side/lingering effect of the cure. Perhaps Kai-stern has reasons for being weary of Elvin magic. Perhaps Kai-stern grew up in an area that was too poor to have proper healers, and by the time that they became accessible, his eyesight couldn't be properly fixed. So many potential reasons and plot bunnies, all stemming from the simple fact that Kai-stern wears glasses . 


	3. Kiss: Candy, Look Over Here

Thank you again for all the lovely reviews. This chapter is closer to being a short interlude than a full chapter, while the chapter that will follow this is over three times as long. The nitpicky part of me absolutely hates how there is nothing neat and tidy about the lengths of the chapters, which I would usually make sure ALL fell between 3000-3500 words each. In a way, this is a kind of learning curve – I'm attempting to learn how to not be quite so anal over the length of the chapters, and simply write them at the length they should be. This chapter's purpose is to really show a slight passing of time and to look at the relationship between Ruwalk and Alfeegi, and while I could have made it longer, it would have been pointless. The next chapter is supposed to be heavy on plot, not this one.

Two themes are covered in this chapter.

* * *

**Kiss: Candy. Look Over Here.**

It was well known that Ruwalk had a sweet tooth. The other man had a thing for all sorts of candies, especially the kind that came from the village just to the north of Draqueen. It wasn't rare for Ruwalk to pop down there once a week or so, bringing back a new stash that he shared warmly with the children and not-so-children who inhabited the castle.

What was less well known was that Alfeegi also had a sweet tooth, although naturally it was a far more refined one. His candy of choice came from the far south, a tacky sweet that could be sucked for hours yet still maintained its flavor. They rarely traded with the village which made the candy, so it was rare for Alfeegi to ever get his hands on them. As luck had it, however, a package had arrived from an old friend that very morning, one who had just happened to be passing through a certain village in the far south, and who also remembered Alfeegi's love for the sweet.

"These really are quite good," Ruwalk remarked as he slipped one of the candies into his mouth, not noticing the way Alfeegi's eyes lingered just briefly on his lips. Alfeegi had invited Ruwalk up to his office the moment the candy had arrived, and the other man was now leaning just slightly against Alfeegi's desk, tasting one of Alfeegi's treasured treats for the first time in over a year. "I'd forgotten just how tasty they were."

On one hand, this was almost torture. Ruwalk was the most attractive person he'd ever met, and he was at his most handsome when smiling and talking about unimportant things such as lollys and sweets. On the other hand, Ruwalk was the most attractive person he'd ever met, and any time spent with his friend had a way of making Alfeegi's day. It wasn't rare for Ruwalk to be up here on not-so-busy days, sometimes Ruwalk would drift up here on his own, but sometimes Alfeegi would find some reason to call him up.

The sweets had served as perfect bait, although they had meant to catch Ruwalk for a different reason than usual.

"Ruwalk, do you think Kai-stern is happy?" Alfeegi pushed the papers he had been working on aside as he glanced up at Ruwalk. Ruwalk, sensing the gravity with which Alfeegi's words had been spoken, became instantly thoughtful, brilliant hair falling across reflective eyes as Ruwalk tilted his head just slightly.

Alfeegi did not think he could possibly love his caring, wonderful friend more than he already did.

"I think that it is sometimes difficult for Kai-stern after he returns from one of his trips," Ruwalk eventually said. "It's different for the rest of us, we rarely seem to get away from the castle, so our relationships are all solid and established. Kai-stern however can sometimes be away from the castle for half the year, and I get the feeling he doesn't always know which role he is supposed to slip into when he returns."

"And then there is the issue of Rath," Alfeegi added, frowning just slightly. "I know Kai-stern acts like he doesn't mind how Rath acts, but …" Alfeegi wasn't sure how to end his line of thought.

"But it must be immensely painful," Ruwalk finished for him. "Kai-stern adores Rath, but each moment he spends with the child must tear at him." He shook his head. "I'm hoping Rath grows out of his resentment sometime soon, as it's destructive not only for Rath, but Kai-stern as well."

Kai-stern didn't have a Ruwalk, Alfeegi realized with sudden clarity as he listened to his friend's musings. Not in the romantic, un-requited love sense – Alfeegi certainly didn't wish _that_ on anybody – but in the best friend, confidant kind of way. Who did Kai-stern talk to when confused or concerned about something? It wasn't rare for Kai-stern to be the first person to help out someone else who was in need, Kai-stern had, after all, been the only one to try and make Alfeegi feel better the night Ruwalk had introduced them all to his new girlfriend. But Alfeegi couldn't recall a time when Kai-stern had needed the same kind of assistance, and he refused to believe that there had never been some such time.

Kai-stern was simply good at hiding it. But Kai-stern shouldn't ever have to hide.

He didn't trust them, and Alfeegi wasn't sure whether he should be feeling hurt or guilty. Right now, it was more a combination of both.

"I just think that Kai-stern needs to be occasionally reminded that we care for him as much as he cares for us," Ruwalk added with a smile, popping another sweet in his mouth, although this time Alfeegi was far too distracted to watch Ruwalk's lips. "I believe that most of the time he knows that, but sometimes he forgets." Alfeegi nodded thoughtfully, drumming his fingers absentmindedly on his desk.

"Kai-stern is heading off to Drapam in a week, isn't he?" Ruwalk nodded. "I have business there I need to attend to also, although I wasn't planning on heading over for another month. It would however be more cost efficient if I went at the same time as Kai-stern, especially as Kai-stern wouldn't dare go over budget right under my nose." That brought a somewhat satisfying smile to Alfeegi's face.

"That sounds like a fabulous idea, Alfeegi!" Anything else Ruwalk was going to add was cut off by a knock on the door, followed by a blond head poking around it. Lathia. Ruwalk's girlfriend.

Suddenly, Alfeegi's heart found itself a new home, lodged somewhere deep in the back of his throat. As Ruwalk bounced over to the door and gave his girlfriend a welcoming kiss, Alfeegi couldn't help but think that a trip away from Draqueen certainly couldn't come at a better time.

He'd make plans in the morning.

Alfeegi wasn't all that sure that Kai-stern would actually enjoy the thought of traveling with him, but Alfeegi knew that the other man would surely understand. Kai-stern had become the one person that Alfeegi could actually talk to about Ruwalk, although it was rare for him to actually do so – there was something rather humiliating about the whole thing, after all. But it had been three months since Kai-stern had dragged him down to the bar in lower Draqueen, and while it was still occasionally uncomfortable to spend any length of time with Kai-stern of all people, Alfeegi was finding that he often quite enjoyed himself, especially as Kai-stern had a wonderful way of distracting Alfeegi when he needed it the most.

He was finding out other things as well, which was what had lead to his conversation with Ruwalk. Not, of course, that Kai-stern ever said anything or ever really hinted, but that was really the problem.

As Lathia leaned in for another kiss, Alfeegi decided that perhaps it would be best if he made his plans for the trip this afternoon, instead.


	4. Kiss: Our Own World, Excessive Chain

_Author's notes:_ Thanks again to those of you who are sticking around for the ride! As this is the first time I've written something of this length, there are going to be times when the flow doesn't seem quite right or is jarring – just another one of those learning curves, I suppose! When you're outside of your comfort zone as a writer, feedback and comments just makes the whole process a whole lot easier, and I can't tell you all how much I appreciate your very kind words. And, you know, it's funny that you should have mentioned Alfeegi's hair in a past review, Animegoil …

* * *

**Kiss: Our Own World. Excessive Chain.**

Drapam was only three days travel to the west of Draqueen, but Kai-stern had dreaded the journey form the moment Alfeegi mentioned that he would be tagging along. He was sure Alfeegi was going to spend the entire time sternly informing Kai-stern about how much money he was allowed to spend and on what, in between moaning about the walk and having to carry his ever-so-heavy traveling case. Kai-stern liked Alfeegi, but he liked Alfeegi back in the castle, and only after they'd already fought over silly things like reports and money.

It was then a surprise when it turned out that Alfeegi was actually quite fun to travel with. He asked questions and commented on the scenery, and only half to trip ended up being dedicated to lectures about his allowance and why Kai-stern should stick to it. Kai-stern had spent a lot of time in Drapam about 150 years ago after a flood had destroyed most of their fields and agriculture, as he had been in charge of helping rebuild the township and forge specific ties with Draqueen. Made up of mostly humans, the township had enough exposure to the Dragon Clan that they didn't fear or distrust others of different races, and Kai-stern had found it was one of the few human settlements he ever felt completely comfortable in. The taboo nature of his childhood illness coupled with his high rank left many humans confused over how exactly they should react around him, not that Kai-stern had ever sort out much human companionship before he became a member of the Dragon Clan, either.

But Drapam was different, and in so many ways.

It had been almost 10 years since his last visit, but familiar faces still greeted him, even though those faces had become lined and aged. Alfeegi appeared almost overwhelmed by the warmth and generosity of their hosts as they were ushered into the main meeting house of the village, children dashing eagerly around their legs. One of the children offered fresh fruit, while another seemed almost hypnotizedby the way Alfeegi's long hair swished behind him as he walked.

This was a world away from the palace, where routine and formality ruled. As Alfeegi smiled hesitantly down at the children before being pulled into a vaguely uncomfortable looking hug by one of the village women, Kai-stern thought that it was a world that he didn't mind sharing with Alfeegi.

Alfeegi wasn't known to the villagers, and as they sat him down at the head of their large table questions and comments flew at him, much to Kai-stern's amusement. Alfeegi didn't seem to know what to answer first, and had to field questions about the strange colour of his hair in between settling a debate about how to properly pronounce his name, all the while testing each of the 'delicacies' set before him. Curious eyes of a different nature also fell on his friend, and when a shy young man came up to Kai-stern and quietly asked if Alfeegi was involved with someone back in Draqueen, Kai-stern smiled kindly and informed him that no, Alfeegi wasn't seeing anyone at all.

This, as it so turned out, was apparently the wrong answer.

"I cannot believe you told someone that I wasn't involved with anyone," Alfeegi hissed quietly hours later, once they had been shown to their room. "I had to deal with that _child_ propositioning me, when you know that I am tied to someone else."

"Alfeegi …" Kai-stern closed his eyes briefly, but Alfeegi refused to let him interrupt.

"That you would think me so loose to cheat on someone I love is just utterly ridiculous, Kai-stern. I thought we were friends, but obviously you don't know me very well at all." Alfeegi paced angrily across the wooden floor, turning abruptly on his heels when he approached the far wall before stalking back, throwing occasional glares in Kai-stern's direction. "And maybe I don't know you as well as I thought I did, because I never would have thought that you would do something so tasteless and lacking in class."

"Alfe-"

"You _know_, Kai-stern. I thought perhaps that maybe you knew more than anyone else, strange as that may seem. But it seems that you really don't know anything at all."

Kai-stern sighed quietly before stepping deliberately into Alfeegi's path, quiet eyes holding angry ones in their gaze.

"Alfeegi," he spoke the name softly, gently brushing the back of his knuckles against Alfeegi's cheek as his gaze took on a saddened edge. "You are tied to Ruwalk only because you refuse to severe the bind that you yourself knotted around him. He loves you dearly, but not in the way you so desperately want him to."

And this was perhaps not the best time to have this talk, and it was perhaps not the best way. Alfeegi buckled just slightly at Kai-stern's words, shoulders slouching forward and the anger and fight drainingout ofthe other man as quickly as they had been first ignited.

"That may be so, Kai-stern. He may never love me as I do him." Kai-stern had not expected Alfeegi's heart breaking, quiet words. "But love is eternal, and I can't ask for my heart back after having given it so freely, even if Ruwalk does not even know he owns it." There were tears caught in Alfeegi's lashes, but he refused to let them fall, and Kai-stern found himself frozen where he stood, unsure how to help. "There will only ever be Ruwalk, Kai-stern. I decided that a long time ago." Kai-stern knew that Alfeegi had been on dates before, although they were few and far between. But that had not been what Alfeegi had meant, and Kai-stern would be a fool to try and pretend otherwise.

Eternal love.

"Come with me," Kai-stern finally said, lacing his fingers with Alfeegi's before pulling the reluctant man outside, grabbing a candle that had been left by the door as they left. Alfeegi said nothing, grudgingly allowing Kai-stern to lead him through the village that had long since gone to sleep. Kai-stern was sure that Alfeegi was no doubt showing signs of resistance, but Kai-stern was too caught up in his own thoughts to take any real notice.

He hadn't been down to the far side of the village for a very, very long time, and he discovered that once they reached the gates that he had remembered being a brighter shade of white, that he could not find the will to force himself to enter.

"This is a graveyard, isn't it?" Kai-stern did not know how long it was before Alfeegi chose to speak, voicing the obvious in an attempt no doubt to draw Kai-stern from the silence that had him in its grasp.

"I … yes." He forced a smile, before lifting his head slightly and leading Alfeegi in. "There's someone I want you to meet."

It was a small graveyard, the old one had fallen victim to the flood that had drawn Kai-stern to the village in the first place, and the population here had always been small. He had no problems finding the square headstone even though the dirt path was lit only by his candle, and he stood almost reverently before it before turning to Alfeegi.

"Alfeegi, I'd like you to meet Siena. My wife." Alfeegi's eyes widened to an almost comically large size at Kai-stern's words, shock robbinghim of the ability to respond. As Kai-stern kneeled before the tombstone he slipped his hand out from Alfeegi's, bringing his fingers gently to his lips before pressing them against the cold stone.

It had been far too long.

It felt as though his heart was breaking all over again.

"When I was in charge of the flood relief effort, she was one of few people who managed to somehow put aside her shock and help me with all the basic organization that needed to be done." His eyes never drifted from the tombstone, even as the words seemed to flow from him on their own accord. His voice sounded distant, and Kai-stern found no familiarity in his own tone. "She was nothing like me, gorgeous and wild, rough around the edges while still possessing this charm that would draw any man to her. I never had a chance." A small, bitter smile curved at his lips. "I never quite understood what she saw in me, the strange-looking human who had been gifted with immortality. But she could be so convincing when she wanted to, and while I sometimes doubted the reasons why, there was never a moment that I believed her love for me was less than what I felt for her."

And Kai-stern had adored her. Her wide smile, the tangled mess of hair that was never controlled or restrained. Siena laughed so openly, but not only that, she showed anger and frustration with that same undiluted passion, refusing to ever hide anything behind a mask. She'd hated the way he smiled to cover his own emotions, locking everything deep inside. They fought over it on occasions, her violent temper clashing with his pacifying nature.

"It wasn't perfect, no relationship ever is." Alfeegi had dropped down onto the grass beside him sometime while Kai-stern had been speaking. "Even though I spent most of those first couple of years in Drapam dealing with the aftermath of the flood, there were still spells where I was required in Draqueen or elsewhere, and she had no desire to leave her home. She didn't approve of some of my … mannerisms, and sometimes I found her a little too blunt. It took almost a year before either of us would even openly acknowledge that what had started as a simple fling had developed into something far deeper, something eternal."

"Kai-stern …" Alfeegi's quiet voice snapped Kai-stern from his thoughts, and he turned slightly startled eyes towards the other man who seemed so out of place here, deep amongst Kai-stern's past.

"Humans break so easily, Alfeegi." Raw pain filtered into his words, a sense of helplessness there that time had only managed to soften, not erase. "Three years, and then she was gone. The disease that killed her can be cured now, but back then there was nothing that could be done. Nothing." And Kai-stern had tried absolutely everything. Few people had the resources and connections that Kai-stern had, and the finest doctors of all kinds had been called in. Traditional doctors, natural healers, magical healers. Elves. Demons. Humans. Samarians. Delarioans.

They hadn't even been able to make her last breaths less painful.

"It took her almost a year to die," Kai-stern finally continued. "The disease ate away at her lungs, before spreading outwards, infecting everything in its path." He laughed softly, and it hurt. "She thought I was insane when I asked her to marry me, she was bedridden by then, but I refused to take no for an answer. I could be just as stubborn as her, sometimes." It came out almost as a whisper. "She died three months later."

Alfeegi seemed frozen, unable to respond, unlikely to know how.

"This is your fabled eternal love, Alfeegi." It took Kai-stern a moment to regain his composure, but when he did his voice held a more familiar firmness. He gestured towards the tombstone; a small smile again in place, although this time it was less bitter and more bittersweet. "A piece of rock and a thousand memories. I will always love her, Alfeegi. Always. But while you can love a memory, to be _in_ love with one can only ever be destructive. It took me years to realize that, and many more passed before I managed to let her go. It doesn't mean I love her any less, it's just a … different … kind of love."

"Ruwalk isn't dead." Alfeegi's voice was devoid of all emotion, blank eyes locked on the tombstone.

"But you are still in love with a ghost." Although the words were spoken with kindness, pure affection could not rob them of their harsh realism, and the tears that Alfeegi had threatened to let fall back in their room found no such resistance this time. Small tremors ran through Alfeegi's body as he angrily brushed those first few tears away, but when Kai-stern pulled him into a tight hug any control was lost. Harsh sobs filled the air, and all Kai-stern could do was hold him close. He didn't know how long they sat like that, in the shadow of his wife's grave. The dew of the grass had soaked through their trousers and the candle had burned a precious inch or two lower by the time Alfeegi seemed to run out of tears, collapsing with a boneless hopelessness into Kai-stern's embrace.

"I know, Alfeegi. I know it's hard. I'm not asking you to stop loving Ruwalk, I'm not even asking you to give up hope. But it doesn't have to be like this, where all being in love does is hurt you. You don't have to replace Ruwalk, but there is no harm in searching for someone you can love just as much." Someone who could love him back. "You don't have to do it all at once, just go on a date or two – remember what it's like to simply enjoy someone else's company." He placed a gentle hand underneath Alfeegi's chin, slowly tilting it up. "Trust me." It came out almost as a plea, although Kai-stern wasn't sure why. "I know some wonderful people who would be a lot of fun to go out to dinner with, or to just chat with over a drink. Just … small steps away from Ruwalk. Nothing big, no promises or emotional attachment."

Just something slightly different. But that first step was always the most difficult.

Aqua eyes that were still glazed over with pain held his own for a moment, before they suddenly took on a more serious edge, surprising Kai-stern.

"If I give you my trust, then you have to grant me the same thing in return." Alfeegi's words trembled just slightly, causing the other man to flush in embarrassment.Hearing his own voice seemed to serve as some sort of reminder of how far from normalAlfeegi was acting. Self consciously, Alfeegi pulled himself back from Kai-stern, brushing away the stray remaining tears before clearing his throat. "You never told anyone about Siena."

"No." Kai-stern's eyes clouded over briefly. "By the time we realized how bad she was, there didn't seem to be any point. There was nothing anyone at Draqueen could have done for her."

"But what about what we could have done for you?" Alfeegi's words startled Kai-stern, who found he had no answer.

"I … I …" Confused, he could only look helplessly back at Alfeegi. "It was a long time ago." The words sounded hollow even to Kai-stern.

"But you never tell any of us anything, even now. Never anything serious, never of what troubles you. You smile and laugh, and sometimes you have occasional moments of seriousness between the times when you are friendly and warm." It was said with an earnestness that was almost hypnotic. "Trust works both ways, Kai-stern. If I am to … to … try what you suggest," Alfeegi faltered slightly, before shaking his head in annoyance and forcing himself on. "If I am to try, then you must as well. No more hiding when something happens or if you're upset about something. Instead of – what is it that you do normally do when you won't talk to us, anyway?" Alfeegi broke off, unsure.

"Get absolutely drunk." Kai-stern chuckled wryly, electing a small grin from Alfeegi.

"Well, then. Next time something happens, we get drunk together. That seems more than reasonable." It almost sounded as though they were agreeing to a business proposal the way Alfeegi managed to word it all, his experience in that field slipping in as usual into normal conversation. There was also a familiar, dangerous determination in Alfeegi's eyes, the kind that usually meant that Alfeegi had discovered exactly how Kai-stern had spent the money allocated to him for his latest trip, and Kai-stern was about to pay dearly. Those eyes were promising something very different this time, even if the follow through contained the same effort and dedication.

And it had always been a silly little attraction, one that Kai-stern had always managed to push away to the furthest corners of his thoughts, or simply ignore altogether. Only a fool wouldn't be attracted to the clever, attractive, somewhat strict and foreboding Officer, after all, and while Ruwalk may be one of the highest order, Kai-stern most certainly wasn't.

It had never meant to become anything more than that. It had never meant to become _this, _where Kai-stern thought he might just drown in Alfeegi's eyes, or would promise him the world if Alfeegi would only simply ask.

He hadn't meant to slowly start to fall so completely for his friend.

Perhaps it was Kai-stern who was the greatest of fools, after all.

"Sounds reasonable? I suppose it does."

Alfeegi smiled. A rich, warm smile that held just a smidge of smugness, and Kai-stern found himself falling further still.

Dawn had started to creep over the horizon by then, their candle having long since burnt itself out. Alfeegi stood up, muttering darkly about how now he was going to have to deal with the economic situation of Drapam on no sleep at all, and how that could hardly be considered productive. It was so typically Alfeegi after an evening that had been anything but, that Kai-stern found it all a bit surreal.

But then, he wouldn't have had it any other way.


	5. Kiss: Jolt, Superstar

Author's notes: And steamrolling onto chapter five! Almost at the half way point … Thank you very much _Animegoil_ for your comment on how neither character seems to be dominant over the other – it's something that I consider to be very important, and I'm glad it's coming across that way. It's very different when you write a one shot piece or a 2 or 3 part series, as you're often dealing with a moment or scene, so it's not unusual then for perhaps one character to be slightly more in control of the situation than the other character, as the scene might call for it. However, in a longer story that contains many scenes there just has to be some sort of balance, especially with characters such as Alfeegi and Kai-stern where neither is really anymore dominant than each other. They might have all sorts of kinks in the bedroom, but as a couple they need to be on equal footing. Big thanks as always to _Wink_ and _Yamatoforever_ for your always kind and inspiring words, and I'm glad you're enjoying the Alfeegi/Kai-stern,_Crimsonredwolf._ Rest assured _Misura, _Ruwalk is not going anywhere fast soon. In fact …

**

* * *

****Kiss: Superstar. Jolt.**

The first date was not a disaster, although it certainly came close to being one. Alfeegi had ended up deciding that he was more than capable of finding someone to go on a simple date with all by himself, brushing off the aid Kai-stern offered. He drew up a list of those who might be potentially interested in such an outing, crossing out those who might expect too much on a first date before next eliminating those who would expect him to pay for both of their meals. Just because Alfeegi earned more than most did not mean that he was willing to waste his well earned money on feeding someone else.

The person he had eventually chosen had been a young accountant. Milva was interested in the sorts of things that appealed to Alfeegi: finances, productivity, and rules. He had envisioned an evening spent over wine discussing economics and the political ramifications, which was exactly how the evening had turned out.

And Alfeegi couldn't remember ever being quite so bored in his life.

Milva, while intelligent and knowledgeable, offered nothing different or new. If Alfeegi had held the same discussion with Kai-stern, they would have most likely ended up arguing about an aspect of the economy that Alfeegi considered incredibly important but which Kai-stern would try and dismiss with a wave of the hand, before tackling the issue from a completely different perspective. They rarely ever actually agreed on anything, and sometimes Kai-stern took it too far, forgetting that it was Alfeegi who was in charge of this particular facet of Draqueen, and that while Kai-stern knew a lot, he couldn't hope to know as much as Alfeegi did on the subject. But their discussions were always interesting, as long as Kai-stern wasn't attempting to get out of writing up a report properly or trying to hide his latest budget blowouts. In those cases, the human was merely annoying and wasting his time.

But anything had to be better than pure boredom.

Alfeegi had decided after that to allow Kai-stern to set him up on a date. But only once. Except, that date had gone rather well, and while Alfeegi hadn't really connected with the lanky elf that Kai-stern had introduced him to, he'd still had fun going down to a tavern and talking about everything from politics to the differences between the types of music in the Elf community and the Dragon Clan one. It had been a very long time since Alfeegi had attempted to socialize with anyone outside his small circle of friends, and while it had been somewhat terrifying, there had also been a sense of freedom there, as well.

It was, in a way, a much needed jolt. A reminder, as Kai-stern had said, that there was a world beyond Ruwalk. It didn't mean, Alfeegi could admit sardonically, that he was moving even an inch away from his best friend, but it was still nice to reconnect even slightly with a side of himself that had least threatened to exist occasionally before he had fallen so deeply for Ruwalk.

Kai-stern wasn't perfect, and some of the dates where as off-key as his first one. But more often than not Kai-stern had a habit of finding people who complimented Alfeegi's own tastes and opinions while still having something of their own to offer. It was almost surprising how easily Kai-stern managed to set everything up, and with interesting, appropriate people. Alfeegi had found parts of dating again difficult at first, as each time he went anywhere public with his 'date' all eyes would fall on the pair. Alfeegi was well known, even if generally only by name and his fabled temper, and people always seemed so curious to know what he was doing and why he was with whomever Kai-stern had set him up with.

Ruwalk had joked on more than one occasion that Alfeegi was becoming quite the social butterfly, so it was hardly surprising that others had started to gossip and take an interested in him. With a warm smile, Ruwalk had even suggested that, if Alfeegi was interested in meeting someone nice, he knew someone who Alfeegi was sure to get along very well with.

THAT date had been a complete disaster. Alfeegi had really tried, if only for Ruwalk's sake. But after an hour of fending off wandering hands while simultaneously being put to sleep by conversation so bland that even Milva would have been bored, Alfeegi had feigned an emergency back in his office and hightailed it. Kai-stern had found it far too amusing, while Ruwalk had been genuinely crushed, before brightening up considerably when he remembered another friend that Alfeegi just had to meet. Alfeegi had the good sense to tell his best friend no on _that_ occasion.

It had been a little … difficult … to get used to the ease Ruwalk seemed to have over Alfeegi dating other people. Which was all sorts of silly, really, considering that there was no real reason why Ruwalk would possibly not want Alfeegi to date other people in the first place. In fact, Ruwalk had taken him aside and warmly commented on how happy he was that Alfeegi was taking time out from his busy schedule for himself, and how he hoped that Alfeegi would find someone as wonderful as Maria. Or Joona. Or Levina. Having his own personal life to suddenly have to deal with, it was becoming more difficult to remember which 'love of his life' Ruwalk was currently dating, and which ones had already met a heartbreaking dead end.

And it had been a little bit difficult, and a little bit hurtful. But then, Alfeegi had always known that it would be.

The dates were hardly all that frequent, a couple of times a month when he was having a hard time of it at work, maybe three times a month when things were a little quieter. Sometimes, he didn't go on a single date for months on end. Occasionally, he went on a second date, but it wasn't until Jovan that Alfeegi went on a third date, and then a fourth.

And then a fifth.

Jovan was part Dragon Clan, part Silvian, and was one of Tetheus' key military advisors. He smiled easily and with warmth, but there was always an underlying seriousness in everything that Jovan did that Alfeegi couldn't help but find attractive. Jovan was rather attractive in a completely superficial sense as well, tall and broad, with slightly wild hair that shone either black or purple, depending on how the candlelight fell on it.

On their sixth date, at an upper-class tavern that served the most wonderful seafood, Jovan kissed him.

"But it wasn't Ruwalk," Kai-stern said with a knowing grin when Alfeegi told him, although his eyes shone with slight exasperation. And Kai-stern was right in a sense, because dark and serious Jovan was certainly not Ruwalk. But, Alfeegi had never actually been kissed by his best friend, and so it would have been rather difficult to compare the two.

He had been kissed by Kai-stern, however, and it was Kai-stern that Alfeegi had found himself instinctively comparing Jovan to when their lips had met. Jovan's kiss had been soft and welcoming, inviting exploration and reciprocation, which Alfeegi had hesitatingly returned.

And it had been … nice. More than nice. But Jovan wasn't Kai-stern, and Alfeegi wasn't exactly sure why that mattered quite as much as it did. He hadn't even thought of their drunken kiss since that night over a year ago, an innocent kiss bourn from friendship and a desire to comfort as opposed to anything deeper.

"No, he wasn't Ruwalk." _And he wasn't you. _"But, I think I'd like to still see him again." Kai-stern smiled so brilliantly in response that Alfeegi couldn't help but smile a little as well. Kai-stern had a strange way of affecting people like that, although Kai-stern's smile did falter slightly when their coffee finally arrived.

The café they had decided on visiting on this particular afternoon was located just outside the castle, and it had a habit of driving Kai-stern absolutely nuts with its dinky piano music and tiny coffees. They had almost been thrown out the afternoon that Kai-stern had 'innocently' asked if the waiter could top up his small, half-filled cup with some rum or brandy – he wasn't really all that fussed, whatever the waiter happened to have on him would be fine – and Alfeegi was sure the only thing that had saved them from an embarrassing rendezvous with the footpath was the fact that the owner had recognized them.

Of course, the dinky music was even dinkier the next time they visited, and the cups almost impossibly smaller. Kai-stern was usually near perfect when it came to concealing his emotions, but even his legendary control had let frustration slip across his features and darken his eyes.

Alfeegi had found it rather amusing. It was, in actual fact, the only reason why he ever insisted that they come down here – there was sure to be something new to annoy Kai-stern.

And it was only fair, really, considering the lengths Kai-stern often went to just to annoy Alfeegi.

As Kai-stern looked mournfully down at his barely there coffee, Alfeegi's gaze followed Kai-stern's own. Pale hands were wrapped around the porcelain cup, only a shade separating them in colour. They weren't pretty hands, not in the traditional sense. Not overly large, and calloused and somewhat rough, they were certainly not like the hands of most diplomats that Alfeegi had ever met. On a visit to Draqueen, a Manian diplomat had confided in Alfeegi that a diplomat's handshake was often more of a first impression than their clothes or features. As a result, more money was often spent on hand care products and nail manicures than any other type of product.

Alfeegi seriously doubted Kai-stern had ever had a manicure in his life – not that Alfeegi had, either. But Kai-stern's nails were cut short, and while they were clean, they were slightly jagged and worn.

And Kai-stern's hands weren't pretty in any real sense. But they were gentle and kind while concealing a strength that often went unnoticed. Alfeegi would trust Kai-stern's hands over perfectly polished porcelain, any day.

"Alfeegi? Did you hear me?" Given the amusement in Kai-stern's tone, it appeared that it was not the first time Kai-stern had tried to get his attention. Somewhere between mournful eyes and '…hear me?', Alfeegi had somehow managed to get himself hopelessly lost in silly thoughts concerning Kai-stern's hands.

"I was busy thinking about something I have to do when I get back to Draqueen," Alfeegi replied dismissively, although Kai-stern hardly seemed to buy it.

"Right. Anyway, I was wondering when you were going to see Javon next?"

Javon, that was right. They had been talking about Javon. A small smile came to Alfeegi's lips.

"Friday afternoon. We're going to go over some reports together."

"Ah, the perfect date," Kai-stern responded wryly. "Don't overdo the romance, Alfeegi. You might scare him off." Alfeegi huffed quietly in response. Who was Kai-stern to talk about romance, anyway? Kai-stern seemed to spend more time with Alfeegi than any of the occasional flings he happened to be sleeping with at the time. Not that Alfeegi minded, spending time with Kai-stern was … nice.

Well, most of the time. As long as Kai-stern eyes were free of a sparkling glint of inspiration, they tended to get along fine. Now, if only Kai-stern would remember that.

Knowing Kai-stern, the other man would probably argue that that would take all the fun out of it. Occasionally – very occasionally, mind you – Alfeegi wasn't all that sure that he would actually disagree completely with such a statement.


	6. Kiss: Our Distance and That Person, Ne...

_Author's notes_: Oops! Is it a greater sin to constantly misspell the name of a character you made up than a canon one? Thanks for pointing it out, _Misura, _I'm about to go fix it now! How it turns out with Javon the rest of you will just have to wait and see. We're at the halfway mark now, only six more chapters to go! This another one of those fairly short chapters that exists simply to show things such as passage of time and various developments that may seem mundane but are important in the sense that they need to actually happen before … other stuff … can occur. Yes. Other stuff. I have the vocabulary of a five year old. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, the next chapter will possibly be out tomorrow, as while it is longer in length than this one, I was not happy at all with this chapter when I wrote it and had to do more editing with it than I've had to do with other chapters.

* * *

**Kiss: Our Distance and That Person. News/Letter.**

To Kai-stern,

It has been two months since you left, and upon hearing that you were to be based in Sandi for the next month and a half, I decided to attempt to send you a letter, delivered by the hands of a band of traders heading in your direction. I doubt this will reach you, as while I paid them a fair price to 'guarantee' the delivery, my faith in vagabonds has always been … well. You already know.

If this does reach you, then I hope it finds you well.

Yours Faithfully,

Alfeegi.

-/-

_Dear Alfeegi,_

_I must admit I rarely ever get mail on my travels, partly because my schedule is somewhat erratic, I suppose. This is a nice change, however! Don't get me wrong! Everything here is as wonderful as it could possibly be, and I'm not saying that merely because everything into and out of the city is censored. I might have to spend a little longer here than intended, but I'll be sure to send you something when I'm about to move on. The beer here is fabulous, not that I'm ever buying it myself, of course. _

_Vagabonds are the ones you should ALWAYS trust, Alfeegi. It's the diplomats that you have to be wary of!_

_Always,_

_Kai-stern._

-/-

To Kai-stern,

After a horrendous day where no-one seemed to understand the concept of deadlines, it was admittedly rather nice to receive your reply. While certain parts of your letter were blacked out, I managed to catch the overall idea of the letter, and I am glad to find that you are working hard.

Everything here is as usual. I am, naturally, the only one doing any work, to the point where I am beginning to suspect that you and Ruwalk have started to rub off slightly on Rune, of all people. Really, the two of you have such a huge influence over others that you should both be more careful with the examples you set. The last thing we need is for the youngsters at Draqueen to focus on the less than stellar points that you two offer, especially as you are both almost decent at your jobs when you properly apply yourselves.

Yours Faithfully,

Alfeegi

-/-

_Dear Alfeegi,_

_Apologies for the delay, I realize that it has been almost two months since my last letter, but the situation in Sandi became such that outside correspondence was not really all that feasible. We managed to sort out the mess somewhat, but what the city really needs is some rebels to come overthrow it and get rid of the monarchy. Not that I am promoting anarchy, naturally. But sometimes it seems like diplomacy is far too slow, and that innocent people suffer as a result. Shiona is far more advanced politically, and I'm finding I can breathe slightly easier here._

_Although, that said, the beer is not quite as good. It is a tad too bitter for my tastes. I suppose you can't have everything, right?_

_Always,_

_Kai-stern._

-/-

To Kai-stern.

I'm going to pretend that you have not mentioned beer in almost every one of your letters, if only because I think you are doing it to deliberately rile me. If I do, however, find out that you have been spending money set aside for your mission on such pointless beverages – and in large qualities at that – be warned that there will be punishment served upon your return, and Ruwalk will not be able to save you.

Speaking of Ruwalk, he sends his best wishes, as does Javon – he suggests checking out the natural caves in the region if you have time, as they are supposed to be stunningly beautiful. Naturally, I told him that of course you wouldn't have time because of a little thing called 'work' you had to first attend to. Rath would also like for it be noted that he knows that you are going to Monia next, and that he would very much appreciate it if you were to bring back some maps of the area for him. I have no idea why.

Yours Faithfully,

Alfeegi.

_-/-_

_Dear Alfeegi,_

_Tell Rath that the maps have been bought and sent off to him separately, and let Ruwalk know that I am as naïve as he is subtle, and that I have indeed remembered to pick up two bags of the sweets he loves so much. He, however, can wait until I get home before he can have them, which is only another four or so months._

_Send my wishes to Javon, also. I'm glad he is still around, although I am rather surprised that you haven't managed to scare him off with your dreadful temper yet._

_Always,_

_Kai-stern._

-/-

Dear Kai-stern,

Ruwalk is sulking in the corner as I write this, which on one hand is rather appropriate, but on the other is rather annoying to have to deal with. If he bemoans his fate one more time, I swear that I will turn my supposedly 'dreadful temper' on him. Really, the only reason I ever get angry is because all of you seem set on infuriating me.

Yes, my relationship with Javon is still … progressing. I am most certainly not going to go into the kind of details I KNOW you want in a letter, in fact, I doubt I would go into them in person with you, either. You are often far too nosy for your own good, Kai-stern – especially considering that I cannot recall the last time you went out on a proper date, yourself. You are hardly one to talk.

Yours Faithfully,

Alfeegi.

_-/-_

_Dear Alfeegi,_

_You wound me! Have I ever enquired into the personal nature of your relationships with anyone? Wait, strike that. Have I ever enquired into the personal nature of your relationships with anyone without having your best interests at heart? It is not so much that I am nosy, as I am … no. You're right. I am completely and utterly nosy. It's Ruwalk's influence on me, I swear._

_You do not need to concern yourself about my own relations, if it makes you feel any better there are many attractive Monians here, and I have hardly been all that reluctant when invited out for a drink or two. Naturally, as I am not as virginal and pure as you are, dear Alfie, the progress I make on my dates is far greater than anything I'm sure you've even thought about doing with Javon._

_And, yes. That is a very subtle attempt to goad you into revealing whether he has ever had the opportunity to stay the night, yet. You have been seeing Javon for almost a year now, after all. _

_Always,_

_Kai-stern._

_-/-_

Sometimes, Alfeegi wanted to remind Kai-stern that while the human was experienced in a whole variety of ways that one really shouldn't mention in polite company, Alfeegi was still almost a hundred years older than him. Once upon a time Alfeegi had in fact been somewhat youthful, and while he perhaps lacked the eternal youth that Kai-stern sometimes seemed to own, he hadn't always been _quite _as serious and uptight as he was now. After all, the only reason why he was ever got remotely uptight (or so he liked to argue) was because of the stress of having to work far too hard as a result of his incompetent workmates.

And, really. Alfie?

Kai-stern was going to find that he had a whole heap of paperwork to fill out once he got back.

Still, Alfeegi couldn't help but smile fondly as he folded Kai-stern latest letter and placed it away safely in his top drawer. It had been almost eight months since Kai-stern had left on his latest round of travels, and Alfeegi was finding that he was actually missing his friend more than he had expected. He'd never really thought that Kai-stern would take the time to reply to his first, impromptu letter, but Kai-stern had proven to be a dedicated pen pal, even if there were times when correspondence was almost impossible.

Kai-stern would be back in a couple of months or so, if everything went well. Rath was sure to be pleased, and it was always nice when Kai-stern was back at the castle, although strange things seemed to have a habit of happening whenever Kai-stern was around. Although, he thought wryly as he remembered how Kai-stern had talked about the various Monians that he had gone on 'dates' with, it appeared that things happened wherever Kai-stern was in general. Alfeegi couldn't imagine getting intimate on any level with someone he had just met, and occasionally the casualness with which Kai-stern took bed partners made him feel a little concerned. Kai-stern always laughed that concern off, more often or not turning the conversation back onto Alfeegi in some manner. The human had a way with playing with words as though it was all some sort of game, but Alfeegi had begun to learn that it was one of Kai-stern's most vicious defenses.

"I'm working." Alfeegi protested as arms suddenly wrapped around his shoulders from behind, distracting him immediately from both his thoughts and his work. He had to hold back a smile as Javon began to drop kisses down the back of his neck, gently brushing away the aqua hair that fell in the way.

"I can leave if you like," Javon murmured quietly, never stopping with his soft kisses.

"I think you should." Alfeegi would be damned if his voice didn't hold just a hint of husk. "And to make sure that you go straight back to your room and don't assault other, poor workers, I shall accompany you."

"I have a habit of escaping if left unsupervised." Javon pulled away, but only long enough for Alfeegi to rise to his feet and put away the rest of his papers.

"The things I do to protect the people of Draqueen." Alfeegi said it was a slight smirk before gently pressing his lips against Javon's. It wasn't as though he wasn't used to having to supervise the other man, anyway.

After all, Alfeegi had been 'sleeping over' for almost a month now. While Alfeegi was known as something of a prude by most people, it was more that he preferred to keep his relationships as private as possible as opposed to some recessive gene that disallowed him any sort of romantic or lustful thoughts. His progress with Javon might have been slow by others standards, because of Alfeegi's own reluctance to get too deeply involved with anyone, but there had still been progress – and that progress had ended up in the bedroom a couple of weeks ago. It had been strange at first and Alfeegi had almost feared rather pathetically that he would be out of practice, but that night had gone wonderfully well, as had the nights that had since followed.

It helped that Javon was very good at everything he did, without exception.

Kai-stern would be proud.

-/-

_Dear Kai-stern,_

_I refuse to justify such a perverted question with an answer. I will see you in a couple ofmonths – keep yourself safe._

_Always,_

_Alfeegi._


	7. Kiss: The Road Home, Sound of Waves

_Author's notes: _Just a short note this time, as the story slowly starts to enter a proper sort of plot, although I suppose you could argue that there has been a kind of plot through the last few chapters as well. A fair amount of time has passed in the first half of this story – a year passed between the first chapter and Alfeegi's first kiss with Javon, and almost another year has passed since Kai-stern has been away.

* * *

**Kiss: The Road Home. Sound of Waves.**

It was time to return home to Draqueen. Nine months on the road had worn on Kai-stern as it always did, his love for adventure and travel waning as the continuous nature of living out of his backpack and spending too many nights out in the open dragged on. The travel was not all that bad by itself, but at times it seemed as though dealing with the harsh conditions and physically demanding routes was often the only actual break he got, as the complicated and complex politics of the citadels and townships he visited demanding far more from him. He always ended up returning to Draqueen emotionally and physically spent, and sometimes even then Kai-stern only ended up being allowed to rest for a couple of weeks before heading off to a new destination.

Kai-stern hadn't needed to return to Draqueen via Breen, a small township that sat on the coast and relied heavily on the fishing industry to survive. But he had spent over two months traveling though nothing but forest and had found himself suffering horribly from claustrophobia, and there was just something about the salty tang of sea air that Kai-stern found almost irresistible. Perhaps it was because the first place he'd ever considered safe had been a seaside township that was located much further to the north than Breen. He'd fled from his own village only weeks before, finally having found the courage to leave, when he'd stumbled across Marinias and its beautiful sandy beaches. He'd never even seen sand before, let alone the ocean, and Kai-stern had simply stood there for hours, toes sinking further into the sand as wide eyes looked out in wonder at the open expanse of crystal blue water. The locals had surely thought him strange, and while, looking back, they'd been rather rude and dismissive of him the moment they caught sight of his fair hair and unnaturally pale eyes, at the tender age of 18 rude and dismissive had been the best Kai-stern had ever been treated.

He occasionally thought about traveling back to Marinias just to see how it had changed, but it was a thought that never lingered for long. As beautiful as Marinias had been, it was still far too close to a huge amount of bad memories that Kai-stern was still attempting to forget. Time had made those memories almost obsolete, replacing them with ones of laughter and friendship, but there was always the fear that returning anywhere near his old home would bring those memories back completely.

And Kai-stern would much rather focus on the future.

The beach at Breen was not quite as golden and the waves not quite as clear, but Kai-stern found it wonderfully relaxing, all the same. He sat himself down on the sand with a glass of ale, slowly sipping the frothy brew as he watched the waves lap gently along the shore. The soothing sound of the waves was almost like a wordless lullaby, and for just a moment the tension in Kai-stern's shoulders and his general tiredness was washed away.

Alfeegi would have loved it here.

Kai-stern smiled wryly. He was used to Alfeegi invaded his thoughts by now, and instead of causing some form of internal conflict like it might have done several months ago, the thought of his friend just helped Kai-stern relax even further. This trip had been more difficult than most, and the strain of having to deal with the threatening turmoil in Sandi coupled with the famine that had decimated the crops in Seria had taken its toll on Kai-stern. He was going to sleep for a month when he returned to Draqueen, reports and write-ups be damned. Of course, Alfeegi would surely put a crimp into that particular plan, and Kai-stern doubted he'd even be allowed to grab a short nap during his first couple of weeks back. After all, he'd been away for almost nine months, and hadn't done a single sheet of the paperwork he was supposed to do during the course of his journey. He supposed he could start it now, but the sun was just wonderfully warm, and there was a gentle breeze that invited sloth-like behavior.

Besides, Alfeegi was all kinds of cute when he was angry.

Kai-stern had a feeling that Javon thought so as well, although the other man was far too polite to ever even imply such a thing. But Kai-stern was sure he'd seen a smile play on Javon's lips on occasions when Alfeegi had been in full ranting mode, his eyes blazing every shade in the spectrum between lavender and grey, his hair flying behind him as he angrily stalked to and thro. Alfeegi, Kai-stern had noted with amusement, actually tried to control his temper when Javon was around, and if it wasn't for the fact that Kai-stern would rather have Alfeegi to himself for even just a couple of minutes, he would have made sure to tell Alfeegi that he hadn't done any of his paperwork while Javon was still in the room.

Javon had been a good influence on Alfeegi, and while Kai-stern could admit to being somewhat jealous of the other man, that Alfeegi had found someone that he could spend time with on a romantic level was not something Kai-stern could begrudge. There were still stray glances at Ruwalk, and sometimes sadness still lingered in Alfeegi's eyes, but Javon was making Alfeegi happy, and that was all that really mattered.

Well, that was what mattered most of the time. Kai-stern was far from perfect, and more than that, he was very much human. Occasionally – usually when he'd drunken slightly too much and ended up in someone's bed – he wondered why exactly it had been Javon that Alfeegi had chosen, and not someone more … accessible. But those were the ramblings of someone plied with alcohol, and in his more saner (and sober) moments, Kai-stern merely felt more bittersweet about it all than anything else.

He wondered if Alfeegi had ever been to the ocean. Perhaps he'd take him out here, one day. The view really was quite beautiful, and the beer was decent enough. Not that Alfeegi ever technically drank, although there were several bartenders who would argue otherwise. Kai-stern had never seen Alfeegi drunk again after that first night, but it wasn't rare for them to have something vaguely alcoholic together from time to time, although Alfeegi had this strange habit of claiming that Kai-stern forced or pressured each drink down him.

Draqueen was only a five day hike from here, through the Mystica pass and across the Lifica lake, where mermaids were rumored to haunt the depths. He'd never seen one in any of his travels, but if there was one thing that his many trips had taught him, it was that local superstitions and fairytales often had some basis in fact. The cynical part of his nature immediately attributed such things to demons and black magic, but occasionally something that seemed too wonderful and fanciful to be true actually was. He still had fond memories of being prepared to attack a well hidden glade where strange happenings had been reported, only to stumble across a handful of tiny pixies who had been putting on their own miniature midsummer's festival. It had been quite a delight to simply watch them as they danced and sung beneath the moonlight, tiny wings glistening gold and silver.

But there had been no pixies on this trip, just politics and diplomats. Kai-stern would rather face down demons, at least they were generally fairly uncomplicated in their desire the kill you.

It was not until the sun began to set that he finally left the beach, making his way back to his inn. He would head off at dawn, but until then he was going to rest in a nice, comfortable bed that came with no strings attached for the first time in months. While it was still possible that someone might try to kill him in his sleep or poison his food here, Kai-stern allowed, it was more likely to be in a simple robbery attempt gone wrong or deceivingly bad cooking. He ignore the odd glances that people sent him, the whispered comments spoken so quietly that human ears wouldn't be able to catch them – at least, human ears that had not been enhanced through immortality and all its perks. They were comments that Kai-stern was well used to now, ones that quietly questioned the colour of his hair or the shade of his eyes, and he found them to be far more amusing than intrusive.

Kai-stern had to sidestep around a pair of young sweethearts kissing in the corridor that lead to his room, his amusement turning wry as he wondered briefly where his own youth had gone. The thought flickered away quickly as he unlocked and opened his door, his eyes immediately falling on the innocent looking envelope that sat on his desk. A maid had probably left it there for him while cleaning, Kai-stern thought carefully as he eyed it with concern. It was not the means of how the letter had gotten into his room that bothered him, and more that, even from the door, Kai-stern could see how the envelope was stamped closed with the Sandi seal.

And it had been almost nine months. Kai-stern was ready to go home.

With a groan, he quickly reached out and opened the letter, only to find his worst fears confirmed. Sandi's king was requesting that Kai-stern visit them before returning back to Draqueen, apparently he was needed to sort out some dispute that was sure to be silly and insignificant. Sandi was a whole week of traveling to the west, and while it would only take him four or five days to travel from there back to Draqueen, the route he'd have to take to get to Sandi didn't actually take him any closer to home. Kai-stern had no idea how long it would take to sort out Sandi's latest round of problems, but knowing their king, it would take far, far longer than it should.

And he would have to leave tonight, even though the room had been paid for until the morning. Alfeegi was bound to lecture him for that, even though it was hardly Kai-stern's fault. It would now be another couple of weeks – at least – until he would see the other man again, and that deflated Kai-stern just a little. It had been months since he had seen a truly friendly face, or any face really that hadn't been ruled by motives and politics, and he had been looking forward to being able to finally let his guard down and simply relax with a friend, especially if that friend just so happened to be Alfeegi. He had been looking forward to catching up with Rath as well, and as he repacked his bags he self-consciously checked to make sure that all the gifts and knickknacks that he had picked up for the young demon were safely tucked away. Sweets and toffee, maps of demon invested areas, a new jacket. A book (with almost more pictures than words, naturally) on the art of swordsmanship, another simply with art associated with the samurai. Nicks and knacks, knacks and nicks. Alfeegi was going to blast him for wasting his money in such a way, while Ruwalk was sure to give him that _look, _the one that said that Kai-stern wasn't fooling anyone, not even Alfeegi. Alfeegi, at least, had the decency to pretend otherwise.

But maybe Rath would like something Kai-stern had bought, and knowing that was enough.

At the very bottom of his pack, cushioned between layers of clothes and socks, there was a small gift that had been carefully wrapped for Alfeegi as well. A small, delicate scroll that dated back at least 3000 years, it was inscribed in a language that Kai-stern had never seen before, and was sure to fascinate Alfeegi to no end.

Not that Rath or Alfeegi were going to be getting his gifts anytime soon. With a grunt, Kai-stern swung his increasingly heavy pack up onto his back, mentally calculating how far he could walk in the few hours left before dusk turned properly into night, before heading off once again.

The road home had just become slightly longer.


	8. Kiss: Good Mood, InvincibleUnrivaled, ...

_Author's notes: _Thank you as always for the reviews, now that you mention it, Aquajogger, I actually remember that strange Kai-stern x Mermaid picture. Weird picture that, and not merely because a naked mermaid is trying to make out with a drowning Kai-stern - Kai-stern's brown hair and the priest gear that he was wearing made it all extra strange. Seriously, you can't make that kind of thing up. There's more of Javon in this chapter as well, so I'm glad that he's appealing to some of you. He's actually quite fun to write, although, not quite as fun as the letters between Kai-stern and Alfeegi, which I think Misura picked up on. Alfeegi can be snarky when given the proper subjects!

* * *

**Kiss: Good Mood. Invincible/Unrivaled. Fence. **

Alfeegi had caught himself counting down the days until Kai-stern came home just over three weeks ago, when he'd suddenly noticed there were a series of red crosses defacing his calendar. He'd been horrified once he'd realized exactly what he was doing, and no amount of inner dialogue dedicated to 'discussing' the issue provided any real answer as to why he'd started marking the days off without even realizing it. Ruwalk had found it all rather humorous, and told Alfeegi so on numerous occasions, often while leaning against the corner of Alfeegi's desk and attempting to do anything but work.

In a way, it shouldn't have come as all that much of a surprise - it wasn't as though Alfeegi didn't miss Kai-stern something terrible, although he rarely admitted that to anyone other than himself. The castle was never quite the same when the friendly human wasn't here, but this trip had been different from most of the journeys Kai-stern went on. For the first time in over three years, Kai-stern's travels had taken him away for Draqueen for a long spell, and Alfeegi had found that while he enjoyed evenings spent with Javon and days spent with Ruwalk, that there was something incredibly important missing when Kai-stern wasn't there. His daytime love and his nighttime lover kept Alfeegi occupied and distracted – although generally in very different ways – but first Ruwalk and then Javon had noticed that Alfeegi wasn't quite himself when Kai-stern was gone.

It had been Tetheus of all people who had been the one, however, to point this small little fact out to Alfeegi himself. Apparently, Tetheus had become a little frustrated that Alfeegi kept sending back Tetheus' reports to be rewritten, especially considering that Tetheus' reports were always flawlessly presented and researched. According to Tetheus, Alfeegi was most certainly allowed to take his annoyance over Kai-stern's absence out on anyone he pleased, but as Head of Security, Tetheus also had the unparalleled right to rid the castle of anyone that he considered a threat.

Alfeegi was not a fool, and had realized that 'threat' meant 'general annoyance' fairly quickly, and had since then attempted to be as polite to Tetheus as possible. Naturally, while that meant that he treated Tetheus far better than anyone else with lesser swordsmanship, it still didn't mean that Tetheus was exempt from his usual, non-Kai-stern inspired temper.

It wasn't, Alfeegi had attempted to explain to Ruwalk on one occasion, that Kai-stern himself was really to blame. Instead, it was more that Kai-stern had a way of allowing Alfeegi to let off a bit of steam, or to somehow manage to pacify his general frustration over everyone else's complete incompetence with merely a drink or two.

Ruwalk had found something amusing about that as well, although Alfeegi had no idea why. Javon had at least seemed to understand his viewpoint, nodding seriously before noting how Kai-stern was obviously an important influence in Alfeegi's life at the moment, and so his absence was always going to have had some effect.

It had been almost … strange. The two responses had seemed so different at the time, yet there was a similarity there that Alfeegi couldn't quite define, in fact, it was one that he had just started to recognize existed in the first place. Ruwalk and Javon had this eerie way of sometimes echoing each others thoughts, so it really shouldn't have surprised Alfeegi as much as it did that they occasionally came across as being on the same wavelength.

Ruwalk and Javon got along well, even though the only common bond they seemed to have was Alfeegi. Ruwalk certainly had never really had much to do with the military division outside of Tetheus, and it was hardly as though Javon's various interests were similar in any shape or form to Ruwalk's. It was partly why Alfeegi had at first felt so pathetically guilty about interacting with Javon whenever Ruwalk was around, as it almost seemed as though he was forcing two quite different people to interact – or at least to deal with each other on some level – simply because of him. Admittedly though, that guilt had far more to do with how difficult it was to shake the feeling that by being with Javon, he was spurning and cheating on a lover that he'd never actually had. It had taken time and a fair amount of emotional juggling before Alfeegi had honestly felt comfortable when they were both in the same room. Even then, Alfeegi had still needed a stern talking to from Kai-stern on the subject before he found himself able to seriously consider Javon as potentially more than just an occasional dinner date.

Kai-stern had told him that he didn't have to choose between Javon and Ruwalk, and that sometimes there was nothing wrong with sitting on the fence for a little while before you decided which side you'd like to jump off on. There was no betrayal involved in being with Javon, just as Alfeegi was not slighting or belittling his feelings for Ruwalk in any way when he started to care about Javon in return.

Even Alfeegi's heart didn't have to be completely invincible, according to Kai-stern, who had said it with a warm smile. Some walls were supposed to be broken down, even if they fell only through chips and cracks as opposed to strong, unrelenting blows.

And Javon was creating cracks, even if those cracks had less to do with actual love and more to do with affection and attraction. But they were cracks, and sometimes cracks developed into things that were much deeper.

Ruwalk had unwittingly driven Alfeegi to build his wall around himself, and Javon was slowly deconstructing it. Yet, each time he was with either of them, he found himself missing Kai-stern even more. Both Ruwalk and Javon were wonderful companions, but Ruwalk's eyes didn't dance in quite the same way Kai-stern's did, and Javon couldn't always see the humor in a situation that might actually deserve it. Still, it made very little sense to Alfeegi, although both Ruwalk and Javon seemed to understand it on at least some level. Naturally, neither of them were willing to share their thoughts on the matter with Alfeegi.

But none of that quite mattered at the moment, because Kai-stern was due home in three days. Alfeegi, as a result, was in such a good mood that even Rath had commented on it, although Rath was wearing a similar smile that even disillusionment and the anger of youth could not quite mask. With an almost giddy glee, Alfeegi set aside an empty space on the corner of his desk for the nine months worth of paperwork Kai-stern was sure to have at least started if he knew what was good for him, while wondering if Kai-stern would be up for a drink on the night of his return. On one hand, Kai-stern was sure to be tired after his long journey. Yet, on the other hand, Kai-stern was almost as bad as Ruwalk was when it came to catching up on the latest gossip. Kai-stern usually liked to pretend he was above such things, but really …

And it was in the middle of that very thought that the courier pigeon arrived, stating that Kai-stern had to attend to 'other business' in Sandi before returning home.

THAT killed Alfeegi's good mood completely, and even Tetheus and his impressive sword were no longer safe from Alfeegi's temper. Alfeegi wanted to blame Kai-stern for the side trip, and perhaps if Kai-stern had to go anywhere but Sandi, he might have been able to convince himself that Kai-stern was merely wasting time and money. But months of correspondence had documented Kai-stern's dislike for the city, of how the power struggles and inequalities made any visit there mentally exhausting. Kai-stern had always been careful with what he ever said in his letters, even once he'd left the walls of Sandi far behind, but Alfeegi had managed to pick up his general feelings of the place fairly easily once he had gotten used to Kai-stern's way of writing. Important thoughts and opinions were often hidden between comments about beer and the weather, and even then only ever said with a certain level of humor. There was always the chance their letters could be intercepted, and while Ruwalk had once boyishly suggested that they could always write in code, they were far from being silly little children who still played such inane games.

The letter had said that Kai-stern only planned to be an extra couple of weeks, including all the travel involved. Alfeegi doubted that, but he clung to the thought of those two weeks the same way he had clung to the mantra of only three more months, or only five more days. It wasn't much, but it could have been far worse, Alfeegi attempted to rationalize. Kai-stern could have been diverted somewhere far further away than Sandi, and two weeks or so really wasn't that long considering that his friend had been away for almost a year. This was all merely just a tiny bump in the road.

Kai-stern was going to come home. Eventually.

A week and a half later, Alfeegi was quietly working in his office when Ruwalk burst in, his lanky friend almost completely breathless. It took a moment for Ruwalk to catch his breath, but the moment he did, the words he managed to force out between harsh breaths froze Alfeegi completely to the core and left him wide eyed in utter disbelief.

Sandi had been attacked.


	9. Kiss: Violence, Red, ‘Say ahh’

_Author's notes:_ Very brief note this time, although big thanks to everyone as always. But, come on. You guys all knew this chapter was coming, right? I'm nothing if not predictable. This chapter and the next one were actually my favourite to write, I probably had _too_ much fun writing them.

* * *

**Kiss: Violence. Red. 'Say ahh'.**

It had been a slaughter. The rebels had never stood a chance, the advantage they may have had in numbers meaning nothing when armed only with short blades and crude shields. The citadel soldiers were well trained and ordered, their efficiency as brutal as it was effective. The battle had still lasted almost two days, regardless, and heavy damage and casualties had seemingly been inflicted everywhere. The streets were lined with bodies that had long since stopped being distinguishable as rebels, soldiers or civilians, and started to simply be dead, the stench of decay already rising in the heat.

And it had been a slaughter, but it had been a well planned one. Kai-stern thought that perhaps the rebels had known that they were sure to lose even before the surprise attack had began, and that was why instead of using their only advantage and striking as one, they had attacked various parts of the citadel – both within and without – simultaneously.

The rebels strongest fighters had been planted inside the walls of the city, possibly posing for months or even years as locals. They had been the ones to attack the main palace, and Kai-stern had found himself having to help defend a regime he despised against rebels whose ideals he shared, even if he hated their means.

It was their blood that stained his sword.

He wondered whose sword was stained with his.

The wound was not serious; at least, it was not serious enough that Kai-stern could not push past the pain as he stalked quickly towards the main chambers of the palace. He could not hold a sword now even if his own life depended on it, the gash that started at his right shoulder before curling into his chest made merely holding anything remotely heavy a very difficult prospect. He'd had it bandaged quickly, after bonelessly collapsing into a chair in the main palace hospice once the hundred or so rebels that had survived surrendered. He'd foolishly believing himself to have some time – however brief – to allow his exhausted and aching body to recover even slightly.

In the ten minutes that it had taken to apply simple, makeshift bandages, King Alferia had officially announced that the remaining rebels were to be executed at sunset.

Kai-stern ignored the guards who greeted him at the main door of the throne room, choosing instead to brush straight pass them despite their protests and thinly veiled threats.

"Ah, Officer Kai-stern," King Alferia greeted, his voice dripping with swarm. "I thought you were being attended to by one of our fine doctors?" The King was drenched in jewels and exotic silks, so different to the blood that stained his soldiers and streets. Of course, King Alferia had only witnessed the fighting from the highest window in the palace, safely guarded. Kai-stern was sure he must look an utter mess in comparison; his clothes tattered and decorated in blood, exhaustion threatening to take over his usually warm features. Dirt and grime seemed to cling to everything, his skin, hair and clothes gaining no discrimination.

"I am here to discuss the status of the prisoners." Kai-stern played the diplomatic game well, one of the reasons why he was so good at his job. He knew when to smile pleasantly and how to make suggestions in such a way that it made the other person believed that the idea had in fact been their own, and Kai-stern knew exactly what boundaries he could and couldn't push with individual rulers.

But what made Kai-stern brilliant at his job instead of merely good, was how he knew exactly when to smash those boundaries completely.

"They are not of your concern," was the airy response, although there was a hint of a threat in the King's words.

"I am making it my concern." Kai-stern's own reply was cold and firm, his eyes narrowing in seriousness.

"Do not overstep your bounds, human." The King drifted down from his throne until he was standing in front of Kai-stern, the anger in his eyes contradicting his neutral, bemused tone. "You have no authority here."

"Perhaps not regarding the prisoners," and it was not as though Kai-stern was allowing Alferia the advantage in any form, and merely a stating of truth. "But your city depends on Draqueen for trade with the cities to the west, as well as protection against some of the larger cities to the north. Draqueen has never supported the execution of prisoners, especially without a trial, and if you were to take that route then you would be breaking all ties with Draqueen as a result." Anger flared briefly in Kai-stern's eyes. "And I do have the authority to make that happen."

It was far from being an empty threat, and they both knew it. Away from Draqueen, decisions that had to be made during an emergency or crisis fell solely on Kai-stern's shoulders, and while he may have to justify them later or even possibly see them overturned, only a fool would dare believe that he was bluffing.

And King Alferia was many things, but he was not a fool. What was at stake was far more important than a pompous execution to show off his power. While the King lost his façade of composure, his anger rising clearly to the surface, Kai-stern remained cold and aloof, hard eyes easily staring down King Alferia's more laden gaze.

"The trials will take place here." It was a last attempt to maintain some form of control, but Alferia had already lost where it truly mattered.

"As long as Chief Judge Forona is in charge of the case." Kai-stern had discovered on his earlier visit that the government itself in Sandi wasn't inherently bad or corrupt, and that they simply did not have the authority or clout to change anything drastically. Here, the royalty still ruled, even though they were supposed to only have a 'supervising' role. Forona was stern and unforgiving in his bluntness, but Kai-stern had found him to have a dedication to justice that was missing amongst those above him.

"I suppose that Draqueen will have a representative here will the trials take place?" Alferia said with bitter humor. Kai-stern's lips curled up slightly into a dark smile.

"Naturally."

Once he was curtly dismissed Kai-stern sought out Forona, stopping briefly at his room to quickly change clothes. He winced as he examined his wound before slipping into a clean shirt and roughly washing the blood and grime from his hands and face, mentally promising himself a nice, long soak when this was all over.

It was dawn before he finally left Forona's office, a basic outline for the trial drawn up and agreed on. It was late afternoon by the time he had visited the prisoners and made sure that they were being treated in a decent enough manner, the injured being seen to be healers and food being brought. He allowed them nothing more, for while he understood their desperation for change, the rebels had killed all who fell between them and their target, including innocent civilians.

Everyone was guilty, but only the rebels were to stand trial. Kai-stern could only make sure they received one that was as balanced as possible.

Four days without sleep, two of which had been spent fighting desperately against those he was now trying to save, had worn on Kai-stern. Away from the responsibility of his position for just a moment, he sagged slightly against the wall of the empty corridor he was passing through, letting out a deep sigh. There was still so much that had to be done, so much that Kai-stern would have to fight and bargain over. Sometime in the next few hours he would have to get his injury seen to, the wound had started to bleed again and stitches were required, if the dull ache that flowed down the entire length of his arm and right side was any indication.

"You look like hell warmed over."

Kai-stern's eyes flickered open in surprise at the words, but a warm – albeit tired – smile quickly followed.

"Tetheus! When did you get here?" Kai-stern pushed himself abruptly away from the wall.

"Several hours ago. You are a very difficult man to track down, Kai-stern." A ghost of a smile played at the corner of Tetheus lips. Dark eyes examined Kai-stern quickly, and the hint of a smile turned into a frown. "You're injured." Trust Tetheus to be able to tell without Kai-stern having said a word, and the wound completely hidden beneath his tunic. But war was Tetheus' area of expertise as much as diplomacy was Kai-stern's, and it made sense that Tetheus would be able to tell when someone was injured or hurt just from a slight strain in their body language or movement.

"I know." Tetheus didn't seem all that amused by Kai-stern's self-depicting remark. "I'm planning on getting it looked at-"

"Now." Tetheus finished for him, leaving no room for argument.

"Now," Kai-stern agreed obediently. Now that Tetheus – and surely an array of guards and military personnel were here, the chances of something going terribly wrong if Kai-stern just happened to hesitate or look away for a moment was significantly lessoned. Kai-stern allowed Tetheus to gently nudge him in the direction of the hospice, a steadying hand never leaving the small of Kai-stern's back. In a way, Tetheus was too good at reading body language, Kai-stern thought with just a touch of wryness.

But it was very, very nice to see a familiar face.

The doctor was not there when they arrived, quite possibly helping deal with the injured soldiers in the barracks. Tetheus sat Kai-stern down in one the chairs regardless, and ordered him to strip off his shirt.

"We came as soon as the messenger brought word that the citadel had been attacked," Tetheus said as he gently unwrapped Kai-stern's bandages, inspecting the wound and marred skin carefully as he did. "It was … unexpected. Lord Lykouleon was rather taken back, as the intelligence in this area had suggested nothing like this. Alfeegi was also rather distraught." It was said gelidly, but it brought the desired response as Kai-stern's gaze flickered quickly away from the scene outside the far window, where various members of the Draqueen military had gathered.

"Oh?"

"Yes. It was quite amusing to hear him attempt to justify why an accountant was desperately needed in a city that was being attacked by rebels. I will have to stitch your wound," Tetheus said as he stood up and examined the various draws and cupboards, before returning with a bowl of water and a needle and thread. Kai-stern was finding it difficult to focus on his injury, what with his heart beating so heavily in his chest. "He will be very annoyed when he discovers that you were injured, I believe he ordered you to return in good health."

"When have I ever been known to follow any of Alfeegi's orders?" Kai-stern said lightly, wincing slightly as Tetheus washed his wound. Tetheus snorted at his reply. "I'm sure he'll manage to survive, somehow."

"You, on the other hand …" Tetheus didn't even look up from where he was slowly starting to stitch together Kai-stern's injury, and anyone else might have possibly missed the way that Tetheus had just made a joke. Tetheus, who often acting so formal and firm, also happened to possess a dark sense of humor that lingered just beneath the surface, although few ever saw it. The demon was nowhere near as cold or emotionless as some people thought him to be, all the emotions and nuances were there, if one only cared to look deep enough.

He was a good friend, as well as being a dedicated and unparalleled military officer. While Kai-stern never forgot the latter, he occasionally forgot the first.

Even though Tetheus was being gentle and continued to talk in a soft, comforting monotone about how Alfeegi had been driving everyone up the wall these last 10 months, most likely because Kai-stern wasn't there for him to take his anger out on, Tetheus could only slightly dull the pain of having stitches put in. When the demon was finally finished, Kai-stern was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and his breaths held a slightly ragged edge.

This was why he was more a fan of the healing magic that the elves had perfected. Less pain, more time spent unconscious.

His room was not far from the hospice, and Tetheus did not seem to mind all that much that Kai-stern leaned on him slightly as they made their way there. The corridors remained empty on their trek back, much to Kai-stern's relief, and when they finally reached his room Kai-stern dropped instantly onto his bed and flopped backwards, groaning melodramatically.

"Next time I go travelling anywhere, remind me to pack an Elf or two."

"You'll have to find one in the next two days, then." Tetheus said as he sat down calmly in a chair across from the bed. "I'm sending you home."

"You're doing what?" With a small groan, Kai-stern pushed himself up onto his elbows, surprised.

"Your wound has gotten slightly infected; you need some rest and a chance to properly recuperate. And not only from the wound, Kai-stern." Tetheus continued when it looked as though Kai-stern was going to protest – which he had intended to do. "You've been travelling now for almost a year, I know how much that takes out of a person. I also know, Kai-stern, the effect that taking part in a battle such as this has on a person." Tetheus' expression didn't flicker or change, but it didn't have to. Sometimes, Tetheus was the easiest to read out of all of them. "From what I have heard and from what I have seen, the battle was very … vicious."

"A prolonged slaughter. Neither side showed even the slightest hint of mercy."

"Yet you put yourself in a potentially dangerous position in an attempt to save those who were part of it." Ah. So Tetheus had heard of his argument with the King.

"I believe in a fair trial, Tetheus." It came out almost as a sigh. "And as a representative of Draqueen, I also must reflect our Kingdom's policies, which have never supported mass execution."

"The King could have easily have said you were killed in battle, or that your injury had ended up being surprisingly fatal."

"And you could have been killed in any of the numerous battles you've fought in." This was a conversation that they would never have been able to have with the likes of Ruwalk and Alfeegi, who never realized quite how constantly dangerous Tetheus' and Kai-stern's work was. "There is no difference between the battles I fight and the ones that you do, Tetheus. I just usually fight mine with words." Tetheus snorted.

"Considering what happened when you try using a sword, your tongue might be the safer option."

Kai-stern had to smile slightly at that – he was hardly in a situation to argue otherwise, although the fact he hadn't been killed worked in his favor.

"I would prefer to stay and watch over the trial." Kai-stern returned to the topic at hand.

"I know. But I have everything under control, Kai-stern. Rest, and then go home. Get better. Then perhaps, you can come back and help out – but only then." For just a moment, Tetheus' features softened. "Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

And he did. Kai-stern knew that. He'd worked often enough in the past with Tetheus when things had gone wrong in some foreign land to know how the other worked.

"Rest first, right?" Kai-stern waved a hand towards the door. "Then you better leave me to it, I find your company far too fascinating to consider falling asleep while you're still here." Tetheus ignored the slight jab, simply nodding and rising to leave. "Tetheus? Thanks." That brought the smallest of smiles in response.

"Sleep, Kai-stern."


	10. Kiss: Overflow, Dash, 10

_Author's notes: _Only two more chapters after this, everyone! I noticed the capitalising mistake the moment I posted, Animegoil, and went to fix it immediately – but unfortunately it took FFNet a while to change it. Gah, I'm an idiot for not picking that up _before_ I posted it. Heh, Ruwalk x Javon? That could be … interesting, Aquajogger. Javon is not quite as loose as Ruwalk is, although I think Ruwalk could have fun trying to break Javon from some of his more serious habits. Thank you to the rest of you as well for your wonderful reviews, especially considering that, for an Alfeegi/Kai-stern/Alfeegi fic, the pair doesn't even spend all that much time together (I'm hopeless at romance!)

* * *

**Kiss: Overflow. Dash. #10.**

Alfeegi was sure his heart had stopped beating the moment Ruwalk had burst breathlessly into his office and told him that Sandi had been attacked. It had taken Sandi's fastest rider almost two days to reach Draqueen, and all that was known of the status of the capitol was that it had come under heavy attack from almost every corner and alleyway. A hasty meeting was called, in which Tetheus had spent all of five minutes at before heading off to Sandi with a selection of troops. In a moment of foolhardy desperation, Alfeegi had tried to convince them that he could be of assistance, his mouth rambling on its own accord even as his heart stayed disturbingly static.

Kai-stern was sure to be fine, Ruwalk had tried to convince Alfeegi, in between sending concerned looks at a frantic Rath, who in the end had to be locked away in his room in an attempt to prevent him from following after Tetheus. Kai-stern would have been staying at the palace after all, according to Ruwalk, and it would be the safest place in the city with all the guards it was sure to have.

Either way, there was nothing that Alfeegi could have possibly done, something that became clear very quickly. So instead, he'd buried himself in his paperwork, or spent his time dashing between his office and Ruwalk's, needing to somehow burn off the frustration and fear that he simply could not let go of.

A day and a half later, another messenger had arrived. The rebel attack had been successfully put down.

And Kai-stern had been injured.

Ruwalk had again been the one to break the news to Alfeegi, and had done so in as gentle a manner as possible, making sure that Alfeegi read himself how the note said that the injury was not serious, and that Kai-stern was reportedly fine. Just a scratch, a slight grazing. Perhaps if it had been slightly more serious then Kai-stern would have been allowed to come home, but even Alfeegi's almost desperate desire to see the other man could not make him to wish that Kai-stern had not been injured at all.

Kai-stern had already been gone 10 months. It was sure to be many more weeks – at least – until he would be home now.

There was a part of him that wondered exactly why he was getting so worked up over Kai-stern, especially when the news had come through that he was fine, if a little battered. It wasn't that everyone else wasn't concerned as well, but Alfeegi was finding that he hadn't yet been able to quite get his heart beating again since the initial shocking news, and he doubted it would until Kai-stern was safely back here in Draqueen.

It was not until the fourth day after they heard of the attack that Alfeegi realized that Javon had been one of the people that had gone with Tetheus to Sandi.

In the week that followed Alfeegi threw himself into his work, rushing through hours of paper work in one sitting. Nights spent in his office absorbed in numbers and calculations were better than ones spent with irrational worry, or simply lost in his own, far too imaginative thoughts. Ruwalk seemed to understand, but that was partly the problem – Alfeegi wasn't sure exactly what it was that Ruwalk understood, considering that Alfeegi had not idea himself. But Ruwalk had just said something about having to figure it out for himself, before gleefully giving him another pile of paperwork that Ruwalk himself should have possibly done.

Sleep, however, still demanded his attention from time to time, and as Alfeegi wearily unlocked the door to his room, intent on gaining a couple of hours rest, he couldn't help but think how this was all Kai-stern's fault.

"You do know it's almost three in the morning?"

Alfeegi's eyes widened in disbelief at the voice – and sight – that greeted him the moment he entered. His normally immaculately made bed was creased and ruffled, the pillows alarmingly out of place. Muddy shoes were placed on the floor at the foot of the bed, a crumpled jacket resting beside them.

And Kai-stern was sitting cross-legged on his bed, a bottle of wine and two glasses resting before him on the bedspread.

"I … you're back." Alfeegi blinked in slight confusion, before his eyes narrowed. "You've made a mess of my room."

"You should see what I did to your bathroom," Kai-stern replied airily. "Although I do think it's unfair that you've got such a huge tub while all I have is a dingy shower in my ensuite. I'm planning on putting in a formal complaint in the morning."

Alfeegi almost, almost went to check. He could just imagine the state of his bathroom, which had never seen a towel out of place or steam left clinging to the surfaces. Kai-stern wasn't known generally for his sloppy nature, but if he could treat Alfeegi's bedroom with such utter disdain for cleanliness … but, Kai-stern was back. Somehow, that was more important.

For now.

Gingerly, Alfeegi stepped over Kai-stern's boots and sat down across the bed from him, the wine sitting between them. He looked down at the glasses before glancing at Kai-stern, an eyebrow raised.

"Remember how you said next time I ever needed to get really, really drunk, I had to get drunk with you?" Kai-stern's smile was slightly strained, and the candlelight that had a way of washing out flaws was not as effective now that Alfeegi was much closer to Kai-stern. Heavy lines marred a usually youthful face, and dark bags fell under normally bright eyes that were now far too dim. Kai-stern was naturally pale, but his skin had taken on a far fairer shade than normal, and everything about his friend just seemed to be drawn so tight and pained.

"I've never heard of this wine before," Alfeegi said, instead of asking any of the many questions that he could of. There was a time and a place for that kind of thing. "Is it a human wine?"

"Actually, Sivian." Kai-stern poured them both a glass. "Not a great year, but it has this way of making humans completely intoxicated after only a couple of glasses. It's the only wine I know of that doesn't take me at least a bottle and a half to get even somewhat drunk on. It doesn't have that same effect on Dragon Clan members, though." A small smile quirked at Kai-stern's lips as Alfeegi's gazed doubtfully at the glass in his hand. "You should almost be able to keep up with me."

Alfeegi had gone out occasionally with Kai-stern for a drink or two. There had been that first night where they had bonded over Alfeegi's broken heart almost three years ago, but usually it was just as a social outing where they could talk over wine in some tavern where Kai-stern often felt more relaxed in than the castle. Kai-stern had told him that it was because taverns were a constant in his travels, with every city, town, or village he visited having at least one. There were times when they seemed more like home than the castle, the human had once admitted, taking thoughtful sips of an expensive wine that Alfeegi would have thought was too upper class for Kai-stern.

But this was different. This was a promise that had been made with true sincerity and trust, and it was the first time that Kai-stern had ever taken him up on his offer.

"You're back earlier than I expected," Alfeegi commented hesitantly as he took a sip of his wine. Kai-stern was right, the wine wasn't of a great vintage, but quality was hardly the point. Kai-stern's smile took on a tighter edge.

"Tetheus sent me home. They didn't really need me there, and Tetheus thought it would be better if I came back and got some rest."

"Your … injury?"

"Is still there." Kai-stern laughed slightly as he took a few sips of his own, scrunching his face just slightly at the bitter taste. "I, Alfeegi." Kai-stern closed his eyes. "I'm not used to this," he finished when he finally opened his eyes again, an almost reluctant honesty reflected there. "I need to get really drunk, and then I'll talk."

It was strange seeing Kai-stern systematically get himself drunk, although there wasn't actually all that much difference between the outward appearances of 'sober' Kai-stern and the 'sloshed' version. Unlike Alfeegi, Kai-stern words didn't slur at all, and while light eyes became a shade darker, they lost none of their intellect. It was almost unfair.

The one difference that Alfeegi did manage to easily pick up on as he talked on about what had happened in Draqueen since Kai-stern had been away, filling the air with empty conversation, was that the more Kai-stern drank, the more impossibly sadder he became. There was not one definite moment or action that gave it away, instead a combination of factors seemed to slowly rise simultaneously to the surface. The way Kai-stern seemed to fold slightly in on himself, how eyes that – yes, still held intellect – clouded over with something akin to pain. Alfeegi had always seen Kai-stern as someone unbreakable, the ease and confidence in which the human held himself contributing to the illusion of strength.

Lit only be candlelight and drunk on poor quality wine, Kai-stern was heartbreakingly fragile. Alfeegi had the feeling that all he had to was touch the other man and he could shatter before Alfeegi's eyes.

"Kai-stern …"

"I can't sleep." Kai-stern didn't raise his eyes from his drink, his gaze seemingly fixated on the red liquid in his glass. "It sounds stupid, doesn't it? I've fought in more than my share of battles, but this one …" he drifted off for a moment. "Every time I close my eyes all I can see is blood. I didn't even have a chance to pay all that much attention to the battle when it was happening, how is it that my thoughts can remember everything in such perfect clarity when everything happened in such a haze in the first place?"

"I heard there were a great deal of causalities." They had never played these roles before, and Alfeegi did not know even where to start. It was always Kai-stern who was the strong one that Alfeegi turned to, this was the first time their roles had ever been reversed.

"721 rebels dead, 130 guards. An estimated 400 civilians. Sandi has never been all that good at keeping records." Kai-stern's short laugh was almost harsh. "All dead in 48 hours, butchered without a single thought for compassion." Haunted eyes managed to meet Alfeegi's. "And I can almost understand, Alfeegi. Almost. Sandi is … is horrible for those who don't have any wealth. They practically practice slavery, although it doesn't quite fall under Draqueen's definition of the term, so I've never had any leverage room there to change anything." The words were bitingly bitter. "The poor don't have any support or assistance, and almost everyone in Sandi is ridiculously poor. There's no health care, and they get underpaid for any work they do manage to find. The rich are obscenely so, and while some changes have been made in the last twenty years, it wasn't enough."

"But the reason why there have been any changes at all is largely because of you, Kai-stern." Alfeegi said the words quietly, resting a gentle hand on Kai-stern's knee as he leaned in towards the other man. "You were the one that set up trade links between Draqueen and Sandi under the condition that they be managed by a government separate from the crown. You were the one who helped set up their government in the first place – after over a thousand of years ruled merely by whoever happened to be King at the time."

"What use is a puppet government? The crown still rules almost completely."

"But only almost. The rebels will get a fair trial, and there have been other occasions when the government has been able to step in. Those moments may be far and few between, but someone once told me that small steps have to be taken first, before bigger ones can be achieved." Alfeegi smiled slightly, but the reference was lost on Kai-stern.

"Those small steps meant that over a thousand people died."

"Kai-stern, that is hardly your fault." Alfeegi protested, helpless eyes holding Kai-stern's dark gaze. "You can only do so much, and you most certainly cannot control those who believe progress can only be found at the end of a blade. That mindset is one that takes hundreds of years to change, not a couple of decades." It looked as though Kai-stern was about to argue, but the last remaining ounce of energy drained suddenly from him instead, and Kai-stern wearily brushed his fingers across his eyes before rubbing them against his temples.

"I know. At least, I know I should. It's just that I can't sleep at all without being woken up almost instantly by the nightmares, and I can't even place blame properly on anyone because they were all so damn horrific to each other." Kai-stern attempted to smile, but his lips only managed a slight wobble. "It was just so brutal, Alfeegi. But I was fine, I had everything under control – how, I'm not entirely sure. It wasn't until I had a moment to myself where I actually had time to think that everything started to fall to pieces, and I'm not exactly sure why. And I don't know how to make it better." Kai-stern was hurting, and even though Alfeegi was often considered blind to such things, there was no way to miss the shuddering breaths and raw emotion that Kai-stern couldn't quite restrain. Before Alfeegi could find words that might possibly be able to alleviate some of it, Kai-stern smiled slightly, one of his perfect (albeit a little tired) smiles that won over others so easily but which Alfeegi had learned to hate. "But it's ok. I'll be fine. I should probably allow you to go to sleep, I'm sure you've got a whole heap of paperwork that needs to be done in the morning."

Perhaps if Alfeegi hadn't had as many drinks he had, then he would have thought of a different way to convince Kai-stern to stay. Kai-stern was too tired to get all the way to his room, he could have argued if he had wanted to be indirect. Alfeegi could have also pinned him with a dark glare and firmly said that there was no way that Kai-stern was leaving in his state, especially not before he let Alfeegi help him in some way. That was the slightly less indirect option.

But Alfeegi had drunken a couple of glasses of Kai-stern's wine, and while certainly not drunk, he was not as level-headed as he usually was. The wine had left him with much of his senses, but had stripped away inhibitions and boundaries.

And Kai-stern was _hurting._

That was something, Alfeegi was discovering, that he just could not allow.

And so, Alfeegi leaned in and gently pressed his lips against Kai-stern's. As Kai-stern froze for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around Alfeegi's waist and drawing him in closer, his own lips parting beneath Alfeegi's, it felt all kinds of right. Alfeegi knew it shouldn't have, that it should have been strange and uncomfortable and all sorts of _wrong, _but the instinct that had drawn him to Kai-stern was not so willing to relinquish its hold now it had what it wanted.

Alfeegi didn't exactly put up that much of a fight.

He had meant for it be a friendly kiss closer to the one that Kai-stern had used to shock him from his depressing thoughts back when they had talked over wine and heartbreak for the first time. But this quickly evolved into something much more. Alfeegi had missed Kai-stern so much, and Kai-stern was so desperately in need of someone to simply hold him for once instead of always being the one doing the holding …

And it was much more than that. Something that Alfeegi did not know how to define but knew that he did not want to end, not as Kai-stern tightened his grip, or as Kai-stern moved his lips away from Alfeegi's and pressed them gently against Alfeegi's ear.

"I, please." It was a quiet plea, murmured more than it was spoken. "Don't leave me, not tonight. I can't …"

Kai-stern was nothing like Ruwalk, who was all long legs and blinding brilliance. And Kai-stern was nothing like Javon, who was tall and broad and wonderfully dark and serious.

"I'm not going anywhere," Alfeegi whispered back, a pale hand straying beneath Alfeegi's shirt as Alfeegi began to trail kisses down Kai-stern's exposed neck before he gently pushed Kai-stern down onto the bed.

Kai-stern said something else, but the words were lost as Kai-stern fumbled with the buttons of Alfeegi's tunic. It sounded almost as though Kai-stern was asking him to stay forever, but whatever had been said had never been meant for Alfeegi's ears, so Alfeegi let them fall unquestioned.

There were far more important things to deal to right now. Lips and mouths and the hollow where the shoulder bone met the neck …

And Kai-stern.


	11. Kiss: Gardenia, Perfect Blue, The space...

_Author's notes: _One of the fun things about having this story finished (albeit in a fairly rough form) before I posted it was reading all the questions that reviewers came up with. Some questions I knew wouldn't get covered at all in the story, but other questions I knew would have an eventual answer. This chapter provides one of those answers, well hopefully, and I hope that the payoff is decent enough. Although, I've got to admit, I really do cringe at certain parts of this chapter – I'm utterly useless when it comes to writing emotions, and parts of this just scream cliché melodrama.

* * *

**Kiss: Gardenia. Perfect Blue. The space between dream and reality. Cradle.**

When Kai-stern awoke the next morning, bathed in sunlight that filtered through the curtains, Alfeegi was gone. His memories of the evening before were slightly hazy, but not enough so that he did not recall in some detail what had happened. A sardonic smile swept across his lips as he gently brushed his fingertips against his mouth, remembering gentle kisses, soft kisses. Passionate, desperate kisses …

And if he had spent the last few years sinking beneath Alfeegi's gaze, Kai-stern had drowned last night in his embrace, lost forever between plain white sheets that doubled as dream and reality. Even now he found it difficult to separate the surreal nature of the night before with the stark reality that the morning had brought. Phantom fingers still danced across his skin, a warm body still seemed molded to his own.

But Alfeegi was gone, and what had been a much needed haven last night was now an unqualified disaster when greeted with the brutal honesty of daylight.

He had needed someone last night. Desperately needed someone to care, to somehow lighten the heaviness of his thoughts and ease the hurt that he just couldn't seem to let go of. Normally, it didn't matter. Kai-stern would drink away his sorrows and go home with the first semi-attractive person who hit on him, able to lose himself at least for a while.

With Alfeegi, he had found himself instead.

Hell. Alfeegi must hate him.

There were clean clothes folded neatly at the end of his bed, and Kai-stern slipped into them quickly before slinking outside. He couldn't face seeing anyone quite yet, his thoughts too scattered and confused to be able to contribute to any sort of conversation that went past a simple greeting. Alfeegi's room opened up onto a small garden that was hidden from most of the castle, and it offered a sense of solitude without having the overbearing feel of Alfeegi that the room did. Alfeegi's room held too many questions he wasn't sure how to answer.

The garden was very unAlfeegi-like, the grass brushing against Kai-stern's ankles and scattered leaves masking the small dirt path that lead to an abandoned goldfish pond. The wooden bench that he collapsed down onto groaned slightly under his weight, and if Kai-stern hadn't been so preoccupied with his thoughts, he would have reflected wryly on how Alfeegi was not much of a gardener.

Kai-stern wasn't sure how long he sat there, blank eyes staring disinterestedly at the pond that was surrounded by overgrown gardenias dyed the perfect shade of blue. The colour was almost hypnotic, and he found that if he focused on the petals long enough, he lost the ability to concentrate on anything more complicated than how they were slightly darker at the tips than at the base.

When Ruwalk came and sat silently beside him, Kai-stern managed to ignore the other man in favor of the perfect shade of blue for almost half an hour.

"Alfeegi's not here," Kai-stern finally said, eyes never leaving the pond and its pretty flowers.

"I noticed." There was a chuckle in Ruwalk's voice. "But I wasn't looking for him."

"Ruwalk, I'm exhausted. My body is aching. I've just managed to destroy one of the closest friendships I've ever had. I have the hangover from hell. I don't really feel like talking."

"The gardenias are really a perfect shade of blue, aren't they?" The friendly warmth of Ruwalk's words was simply too much for Kai-stern, whose nerves were brittle and on edge as it was. "The first time I ever met Alfeegi was in this garden, he'd just moved in and I'd been sent to show him around the rest of the castle. He was sitting right where you are now, looking over the pond with this strange, determined look on his face. Framed by the gardenias, I thought him to be the most beautiful person I'd ever met. I think," Ruwalk said thoughtfully as Kai-stern turned to watch him, unable to keep his gaze elsewhere any longer. "That I fell in love with him just a little that afternoon." Kai-stern felt his heart stop for one, impossibly long moment. "Alfeegi is a very easy person to fall in love with, once you get passed some of his more … prickly aspects." Ruwalk smiled fondly. "Friendship came first, but the more I got to know him, the harder I started to fall. I doubt he has any idea the true effect he has on people, although I have a feeling you just might." Ruwalk's smile took on a kind edge as Kai-stern dropped his head just slightly. "I used to think that there was nothing in the world worse than having to deal with unrequited love. I'd see Alfeegi each day, but he never showed even a glimmer of interest. He had the power to destroy me with a glance, and yet it felt as though he would never be able to see me as more than a very good friend."

"You were in love with Alfeegi." Kai-stern's words came out hoarse.

"Madly in love. So much so that I made a fool of myself a hundred times over," came Ruwalk's wry response. "I always thought that if one day he showed just a hint of returning my feelings, then I would grasp that opportunity and tie him to my forever. And then, one day, he did. Except, it wasn't just a hint or a flicker, it was an all encompassing love that promised so much, and was far more than I could have ever hoped for. It was then that I discovered that while unrequited love was almost unerringly painful, requited love was far more complicated."

"I don't understand why you're telling me this, Ruwalk. I think Alfeegi needs to hear this far more than I do." The words were hard to say, and Kai-stern had to force them out.

"All my plans at throwing myself at him if he ever gave me the chance were abandoned." Ruwalk continued on as though he hadn't heard a word Kai-stern had said. "New plans had to be made, ones that were rational and carefully thought out. Daydreams and flights of fantasies don't require any base in reality, but the possibility of being with Alfeegi was no longer merely either of those. There was a real chance, true hope. But with those came real and true consequences, and if I somehow judged it all wrong, I could risk losing Alfeegi's friendship forever. That was simply not an option."

"Because you loved him too much." Hollow, empty words. Kai-stern felt as though he had been drained of all emotion, nothing but a shell left behind.

"No," Ruwalk corrected with a slightly bittersweet smile. "I loved our friendship too much. I wasn't willing to follow my heart if it meant I could lose him completely. It was a difficult realisation to come to, knowing that it didn't matter how much I was in love with him, I didn't love him _enough._" Confused, Kai-stern could only sit silently as Ruwalk continued. "As a friend, no one holds him more dearly. No one. But true love comes from being willing to sacrifice everything to make the person you are in love with happy, and I couldn't do that – I stumbled at the very last hurdle. When it came to choosing between love and friendship, I couldn't risk choosing love, and Alfeegi deserves more than that." This time, the smile was slightly stronger. "And so do I." Ruwalk's last words startled Kai-stern out of the trance Ruwalk's words had sent him into.

"But nobody could love you more than Alfeegi."

"And yet, Alfeegi has never been able to risk our friendship in any manner either, Kai-stern. He may be in love with me, just like I will always be in love with him. But, he failed the last test as well. Alfeegi never stole a kiss on any of the occasions when he drank too much, even though he could have explained it away easily the next morning. He never said anything when we fought side by side, sure that death was about to come charging at us around the corner." Ruwalk's eyes drifted back towards Alfeegi's mess of a room, a slightly bemused and sad smile in place. "He never made love to me at moments when I might have so desperately needed it."

"Alfeegi was drunk," Kai-stern protested quietly.

"Alcohol only allows emotions that already exist come to the fore, Kai-stern. I have been drunk with Alfeegi over the years on more occasions than you have, and never once did either of us come close to crossing the boundaries that you two have crossed on several occasions now." Ruwalk raised a hand and gently pressed it against Kai-stern's cheek, serious eyes locking with Kai-stern's helpless ones.

"Ruwalk …"

"He loves you enough to risk losing you, if it means that he might just have the slightest chance of making you truly happy instead." Ruwalk's eyes glistened. "He might not even completely realize that himself yet, but his actions speak louder than any words can. There is no love greater than that. He could make you very happy, Kai-stern, and I believe that you could make him very happy as well." Kai-stern couldn't look away; he was completely locked in Ruwalk's gaze.

"Even if he does care for me," and there was a hint of disbelieving hysteria in Kai-stern's words. "Even if he does, that doesn't mean that something between us could work. He is very different to me, Ruwalk. He is …" Everything that Kai-stern doubted he personally could ever quite be. "It could still all fall apart."

"Yes, it could. And it could fall apart so completely that you'll never quite regain the same level of friendship you once had with him. And, I might be completely wrong – he might feel nothing more than friendship or a base, physical attraction for you." Ruwalk said with slight sadness. "You love him." Kai-stern closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath. "But do you love him enough to risk everything on that one chance of possibly making him happy, even if you ultimately lose him completely?" Before Kai-stern could answer Ruwalk gently placed a finger against his lips. "Either way, I am not the one you need to tell. Alfeegi has barricaded himself in his office ands refuses to talk to anyone. Even me." Even though Ruwalk's smile never faltered, Kai-stern could feel the pain behind his words. "He is confused, Kai-stern. As confused as you are. I don't think he ever expected this, he is not used to things that can't be easily slotted into spreadsheets or balanced up at the end of the day." Ruwalk rose, but paused for just a moment, his gaze still locked with Kai-stern's. "Whatever decision you make, please try not to hurt him."

And then Ruwalk was gone, leaving Kai-stern lost in thoughts that almost exclusively promised heartbreak, and memories of aqua eyes that shone the perfect shade of blue when Alfeegi was at his most happiest.


	12. Kiss: Kiss

_Author's notes: _Last chapter, and where I chose the title of the fic from. It's certainly been a fun experience, as well as one that I've learnt a lot from. A big thanks to everyone, and I hope you're all not too disappointed with how this ends. There are some parts of this that I've left deliberately open ended, as I always planned to leave the opportunity for a sequel if I ever got around to it. There's something in one of the previous chapters that was mentioned just in passing that will be the base of the eventual sequel, so if anyone wants to reread them and try and figure out what it is, you're more than welcome to make a guess or two! If I do write the sequel, it won't be for a while – I've a few other pieces I need to work on first.

As I said, this was a huge learning curve for me, and all the comments, thoughts, and crit have all been a huge help. I will do some pruning of the previous chapter to hopefully make it have a more in character feel to it, as well as eventually some more general editing of the series in the not too distant future. All after a little break, first. Thanks again to all the reviewers, you've all been just brilliant.

* * *

**Kiss: Kiss.**

Death was not option. Everything else, however, Alfeegi thought with a snarl as he harshly signed his name at the bottom of a document that he had barely skimmed over, was pretty much fair game. If he'd simply made a fool out of himself then that would have been fine – Alfeegi was rather used to feeling like an idiot, although that was almost always a direct result of someone else setting him up for that very purpose. But this, this hadn't been mere stupidity …

Noticing that the next report was written by Ruwalk, Alfeegi immediately dropped it onto the top of the pile of paperwork to his left. Rath had dubbed it the 're-write pile of doom', as anything that ended up there was always immediately sent back and was demanded to be re-written before Alfeegi would even consider reading it.

Alfeegi had left the moment morning had come. His initial disbelief over his own actions had been nothing compared to the realisation that he had taken advantage of his very drunk friend. Very, very drunk friend. It had been wrong on a hundred different levels, and Alfeegi had not been able to face Kai-stern long enough to even apologize, and he had instead chosen to flee like a coward to the supposed safety of his office. Here, however, Kai-stern still haunted his thoughts, and his guilt never left Alfeegi alone for even a moment.

But the guilt he could almost deal with, what Alfeegi couldn't handle quite as well were the memories that came with it. Calloused hands that had seemed strangely hesitant at first, the unique way Kai-stern tasted, the feel of Kai-stern laying beneath him, trusting eyes that welcomed and promised and _cared_ holding his own…

Just as those eyes were holding him now, in a way that Alfeegi could not shake.

It had been the ultimate betrayal. Kai-stern had needed a friend, not sex.

Although Kai-stern had certainly been more than willing.

But only, Alfeegi reminded himself angrily as the traitorous thought slipped in, because Kai-stern had been drunk, and things had only then still progressed as far as they did because Alfeegi had given Kai-stern the wrong impression.

How he could have really expected Kai-stern to be able to interpret Alfeegi's actions correctly in the state he'd been in when even now Alfeegi was having trouble deciphering them himself, he wasn't sure. Even if Kai-stern didn't wake up feeling as though he'd been taking advantage of, then surely Kai-stern still wouldn't see it as more than a drunken fling between friends.

Last night, Alfeegi hadn't wanted to let go of Kai-stern after that first, lingering kiss. In the harsh reality of daylight, he was finding he still didn't. Clever, warm, beautiful Kai-stern had somehow managed to capture Alfeegi's heart in a way that Alfeegi had never thought possible. More than that, Kai-stern had managed to draw from him a response that even Ruwalk had never been able to, dragging passionate and loving kisses from merely Alfeegi's imagination and placing them into a bed that had been very much real.

It had been perfect. But it shouldn't have been. Kai-stern had been drunk, and Kai-stern was neither Ruwalk nor Javon. Ruwalk, who was supposed to be the most important person in Alfeegi's life, the one man that Alfeegi had ever allowed himself to truly love. Javon, who was warm and wonderful, and cared for Alfeegi without caring too much for things to ever become complicated.

And it had been perfect. But more than that, it had seemed so very right. Alfeegi would do it all over again in a heartbeat if Kai-stern would only allow one little clause to be added, one that promised that Kai-stern would stay forever.

Some time during the past few years, Alfeegi had fallen in love. Madly, deeply, completely in love.

But last night had been at best a fling, at worst a situation where Alfeegi had let his own, practically suppressed up until then, attraction take a dangerous turn. If Alfeegi was lucky, Kai-stern might not hate him quite as much as Alfeegi currently hated himself.

"Alfeegi? Do you mind if I come in?" Alfeegi dropped his quill as Kai-stern's quiet words floated through his locked office door.

"I'm working," he forced out through suddenly dry lips. "I don't have time to talk." The words seemed unnecessarily cruel even to Alfeegi's ears, but he couldn't erase them once said.

"That's fine." For a moment, Alfeegi thought that Kai-stern had actually left, until he heard a slight bump against the door, followed by the sound of fabric scratching slightly against wood. "I won't be long, and I suppose I can say what I need to from this side of the door." There was slight humor in Kai-stern's voice, but it took Alfeegi almost an entire minute to realize why Kai-stern's words seemed to not come quite from the same direction as they had originally.

"Kai-stern, you better not be sitting against my door," Alfeegi warned darkly, already imagining with horror the looks Kai-stern was sure to get from anyone passing by.

"Want to come out and check?"

"No. I want you to go away."

"That's not very nice," Kai-stern's voice held a note of disapproval. "All I want to do is talk about last night." Alfeegi's heartbeat slowed down to a crawl.

"Kai-stern, I'm not having this conversation right now."

"No, you're not." It was almost startling to hear Kai-stern agree with him, considering that they somehow managed to never agree on anything. "I'm having this conversation; you are an unwilling bystander with no means of escape. Of course, you could let me in and then _we _could have this conversation, but I'm fine with doing all the talking out here on my lonesome if it comes to that." Alfeegi didn't bother to reply - Kai-stern wouldn't dare. "Well then. First things first, I suppose." There was a pause, and Alfeegi found that although he had picked his quill up again, he couldn't quite force himself to turn his attention away from the door to actually sign off the piece of parchment beneath it. "I'm sorry, Alfeegi."

Of all the things Alfeegi had possibly expected from Kai-stern, an apology was certainly not one of them.

"I'm sorry for putting you in a situation that you obviously feel uncomfortable in." Kai-stern continued. Hell, I've got to admit, this isn't something I'm all that used to either. If I hadn't as much to drink – if I hadn't encouraged you to drink as well, then perhaps we wouldn't be in this situation."

"You were drunk. I was slightly so." Alfeegi responded curtly. "There isn't anything else that needs to be discussed. Now that we've both acknowledged that we regret how the evening went, I believe you have work you should be doing?"

"I didn't say anything about regret, Alfeegi." The words were spoken quietly. "I'm sorry that last night created such a difficult situation, but I don't regret what happened. Maybe that makes me a horrible person, I don't know." Kai-stern chuckled darkly. "And maybe you hate me even more because I don't regret it." Alfeegi had moved away from his desk as Kai-stern had spoken, and before Kai-stern could continue with his line of thought Alfeegi had opened the door, allowing a sprawling Kai-stern in.

"I don't believe that this is the kind of thing that anyone who just happens to be passing by needs to hear," Alfeegi said almost coldly, before shutting the door behind Kai-stern. He didn't know any other way to conceal his fluttering emotions. "You don't regret what happened."

"No."

"Even though I basically took advantage of you while you were drunk and upset?"

"I, Alfeegi." Kai-stern's smile twisted slightly at the corners. "You can't really take advantage of someone who is completely and utterly willing to be 'taken advantage' of. I have been … attracted to you for some time." Kai-stern admitted, before letting out a deep breath. "Very attracted."

"Very attracted?" Alfeegi echoed, slightly disbelievingly. What was the difference between pure attraction and attraction that demanded the use of 'very'? Alfeegi's eyes narrowed slightly. The words on their own were shocking enough, and if Kai-stern had not used such a strange emphasis then perhaps Alfeegi would have found it difficult to wrap his mind around the concept that Kai-stern found him attractive in the first place.

"Very, very attracted." Kai-stern laughed then, as though even he was finding his turn of phrase vaguely ridiculous. "I'm not very good at this, Alfeegi."

"I've noticed," came Alfeegi's wry response. If at all possible, Kai-stern was making Alfeegi even more confused. Everything that came from the usually straight speaking Kai-stern seemed to be meant to avoid any sort of point or true explanation, and as Kai-stern went to speak again, he seemed to realize this. Kai-stern paused, before taking a harsh breath inwards and inhaling slowly, his gaze taking on a startling determination that was still shot through with just a hint of self-depicting humor.

"I'm in love with you." Alfeegi froze completely at Kai-stern's words. "Completely and utterly in love with you. I don't expect you to feel the same way, or to care at all, really." Kai-stern was babbling on helplessly, and as much as Alfeegi found he wanted to interrupt the other man, he could not seem to find the words he needed. "And I know that you're still in love with Ruwalk, and you get along so well with Javon. I don't exactly fit anywhere into that picture, which is probably far too complicated as it is, anyway."

"How long?" Kai-stern was in love with him. Kai-stern. Alfeegi was desperately trying to get his thoughts into some sense of order, the wild hysteria that was currently dictating everything not allowing for any true insight from sanity. "How long have you been in love with me?" The simple question seemed to deflate Kai-stern slightly, and the tumble of words that had come before gave way to a more controlled tone.

"Since our visit to Drapam." Over three years, and Kai-stern had never even hinted that he cared for Alfeegi as more than a friend. And yet … Kai-stern had been the one who had wanted him to move on, who had wanted Alfeegi to be as happy as possible. It had been Kai-stern who had helped mend his broken heart, and it had been Kai-stern that he had turned to when he couldn't talk to even Ruwalk.

And Kai-stern had never hinted at being in love with Alfeegi at all, yet that love had still been in every moment that they had shared.

"So you see, that's why I can't regret last night even if I should." Kai-stern smiled slightly as he continued, sadness playing at the corners of his lips. Pain shone in his eyes now, although Kai-stern was trying desperately to hide it. "It might have been wrong and false, it might have been brought about by broken inhibitions as opposed to requited love." Kai-stern's smile drew tighter. "But despite all that it was still-"

"Perfect." Alfeegi softly finished Kai-stern's sentence for him, before stepping towards the other man. Kai-stern's eyes widened in surprise as Alfeegi closed the space before them, before brushing his fingers against Kai-stern's cheek. "Absolutely perfect." The words came out as a whisper as Alfeegi leaned in to close the final few inches that separated them, claiming Kai-stern's lips as his own in a tender kiss that could not be blamed on anything more intoxicating than desire and love. Kai-stern's eyes drifted closed even as his lips parted without resistance beneath Alfeegi's, pale hands settling on Alfeegi's hips as Alfeegi's own arms snaked around Kai-stern's back.

"I'm not Ruwalk," Kai-stern said quietly when the finally pulled apart, colourless eyes looking up into his own.

"No, you're not," Alfeegi agreed, trailing his fingertips absentmindedly across Kai-stern's collarbone. "But if I still wanted Ruwalk, then I would have kissed him." Earnest eyes held Kai-stern's slightly disbelieving ones, until that disbelief melted at least partly into acceptance. "I will always love him," Alfeegi murmured as he bent in to kiss Kai-stern again. "But I am _in_ love with you."

Kai-stern shuddered into their next kiss, and while Alfeegi wasn't totally sure that Kai-stern completely believed him, he was sure that he would be able to able to convince him if given the chance.

"You know," Kai-stern grinned when they separated once again, although 'separate' was probably not all that accurate a word. "You have a very nice desk. A very _big_ nice desk." The grin became almost predatory, and Alfeegi wondered for the first time exactly what he had gotten himself into.

Although, he wasn't finding he minded all that much.

"No." Firm, his reply left no room for argument. Kai-stern's 'suggestion' bordered on being scandalous, and Alfeegi was suitably outraged. Well, almost.

"Are you sure?" Kai-stern's hands stayed on Alfeegi's hips even as he guided the other man slowly backwards, not stopping until Alfeegi bumped slightly against the outer edge of his – admittedly – rather large and sturdy desk.

But, no. There were some things one simply did not _do _on a desk, and certainly not one that happened to be in Alfeegi's own office.

"No, Kai-stern." This time his words were accompanied by a stern glare. Very convincing. That one of his hands was playing with Kai-stern's hair and the other was resting lightly on his shoulder was perhaps not quite so convincing.

When Kai-stern leaned in and kissed him again to a point where he lost all thoughts of sensibility and rules, leaving him breathless and somewhat dazed, he forgot completely what he was supposed to be convincing Kai-stern of in the first place.

"Ok," Kai-stern murmured as his lips left Alfeegi's, amusement shining just slightly in his eyes. "I understand that you have a lot of work to do, and that you might have been somewhat … distracted … if I'd brought my paperwork in as well and worked beside you." That _bastard. _"I suppose I'll see you later in the afternoon, though?" A more natural smile returned, although Alfeegi was not quite as easily fooled by it as he might have been several years ago.

"Most certainly. I should be able to fit you into my timetable somewhere." The formal words were softened by the briefest of kisses. It was a silent reassurance, a promise, and it seemed to convince Kai-stern at least for now. With an almost boyish grin and a quick peck on the cheek, Kai-stern was gone, surely not to his office as he had so earnestly proclaimed, but to wherever work could be successfully avoided for at least a couple of hours.

How completely frustrating, didn't Kai-stern realize just how important paperwork was?

As Alfeegi returned to his own paperwork, noticing that the next report was by Rath (straight into the re-write pile), he couldn't help but smile just slightly, regardless.


End file.
